Giving Honour Unto The Wife

Posted by on Nov 20, 2011

Giving Honour Unto The Wife

“Giving Honour Unto The Wife”
MP3 Version: “Giving Honour Unto the Wife
Scripture Text: 1 Peter 3:7

By Pastor Mike Withem
First Baptist Church
Ranson, West Virginia

Introduction:

A. (Illus.- I heard about a group of unmarried women who were asked to meet and amongst themselves come up with their idea of the “perfect” man. Now you would think that they would have chosen some handsome ACTOR, or some muscle-bound ATHLETE, or some wealthy TYCOON, but they didn’t? Do you want to see whom they determined to be the “perfect” man? Yes, their idea of the “perfect” man was none other than “MR. POTATO HEAD.” When asked why they chose him, here’s what they said, “Well, he’s tan, he’s cute, he knows the importance of accessorizing, but most important, if he ever looks at another woman, you can rearrange his face!”)

B. Now we are laughing, but the honest truth is, there is NO such think as a “perfect” man.
1. And I’ll tell you something else, there is NO such thing as a “perfect” husband.
2. (Illus.- I am not going to do this, but if I were to ask the wives who are here this morning to rate your husbands on a scale of 1-10, one being utterly AWFUL, and ten being absolutely PERFECT, I doubt very seriously that any of you would give your husband a perfect “10″ score.)
3. (Illus.- I’m also sure that none of the husbands who are here this morning would give themselves a perfect “10″ score. At least, I hope not. If you think you are a perfect husband, then you ARE a Mr. Potato Head!)

C. However, having said all of that, I am convinced that it is possible for each of the husbands who are here this morning to be GOOD husbands.
1. Not perfect husbands, but GOOD husbands.
2. Not perfect husbands, but DECENT husbands.
3. Not perfect husbands, but SATISFACTORY husbands.
4. The Bible says in Psa. 37:23, “The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.”

D. Now this raises a question, “Exactly WHAT constitutes a good husband?”
1. Peter answers that question in our text.
2. Notice, first of all, that a good husband…

I. Knows His Wife.

A. Notice again how Vrs. 7 of our text begins, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them (your wives) according to knowledge,”
1. Now what did Peter mean by this?
2. The word translated “knowledge” is the Greek word, “gnosis,” which means exactly what the King James translators determined it means, it means “knowledge.” (It can also mean “science.”)
3. But what did Peter mean when he admonished husbands to “dwell with” their wives “according to knowledge.”
4. Well, there are basically two interpretations.
5. First of all, there are those who interpret this to mean that husbands should KNOW their DUTIES are as a husband, and that they should treat their wives accordingly. (In other words, that they should fulfill those duties.)
6. However, there are others who interpret this to mean that husbands should KNOW their WIVES, and that they should treat them accordingly. (In other words, that they should treat them in a loving, patient, and understanding manner.)
7. One translation says, “…be thoughtful of your wife.”
8. Another translation says, “…try to understand your wife.”
9. Yet another translation says, “…Treat your wife with understanding.”
10. Let’s face it fellows, the better we know our wives, and the more we understand about what makes them tick, the BETTER HUSBANDS we are going to be.

B. Now this raises a question.
1. HOW can we, as husbands, get to know our wives better?
2. By the way, there is no quick or easy way to do this. (It’s going to take a significant amount of time and effort on your part.)
3. There are basically TWO keys to getting to know your wife better, and the first key is SPENDING TIME WITH HER.
4. Notice again the first few words in Vrs. 7 of our text, Peter said, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them.” (In other words, “live with them.”)
5. One of the problems that I see in some marriages are husbands and wives who really don’t live together.
6. Oh, they reside in the same house and they sleep in the same bed, but they really don’t live together, and by that I simply mean that they spend very little time together.
7. Listen fellows, it is absolutely impossible to get to know your wife better if you don’t spend some quality time with her.
8. You may have to sacrifice some overtime at work, or some time spent playing golf or chasing the elusive white tail deer, but it is a sacrifice worth making if it results in you getting to know your wife better.

C. The second key to getting to know your wife better is COMMUNICATION.
1. Now communication is a two-way street.
2. First of all, guys, we have to communicate with our wives.
3. You might begin with some very basic questions.
4. Questions like, “Honey, what do you THINK?” or, “Honey, how do you FEEL?” or better yet, “Honey, what do you NEED?”
5. And you can’t just ask these questions.
6. You need to ask the questions, yes, but you need to ask them with a SINCERE desire to know the answers.
7. And fellows, let me tell you, she WILL know if you are not sincere!
8. And so, first of all, we have to communicate with our wives.

D. But remember, communication is a two-way street.
1. We begin by communicating with our wives (asking them the pertinent questions), but then we give them an opportunity to communicate with us.
2. You know what this means, don’t you?
3. It means LISTENING to them. (If you are going to ask them a question, you had better be prepared to listen to their answer.)
4. And not just listen, but REALLY listen.

E. One of the problems that I see in some marriages (and it is probably a problem in the vast majority of marriages, at least to some extent) are husbands who don’t really listen to their wives.
1. They listen, but they don’t REALLY listen.
2. What’s the difference? someone asks.
3. The difference, guys, is that if we are really listening to our wives, we are TOTALLY FOCUSED on them and what they are saying to us.
4. For example, we can’t really listen to our wives while we are…
-reading the morning paper,
-watching a football game on TV,
-sitting at our computer surfing the internet,
-busy loading up our truck for a weekend hunting trip.
5. Those are NOT good times to try to communicate with our wives, the reason being, our attention will not be totally focused on them.

F. And so, a good husband knows his wife, and the way he knows her is by spending time with her and communicating with her (asking her the pertinent questions and then really listening to her answers).
1. Let me ask you a question, fellows, how well do you know your wife (I mean REALLY know her)?
2. There’s no way that you can be a good husband, no way that you can meet your wife’s needs, if you don’t know her.

G. Notice, also, that a good husband…

II. Honours His Wife.

A. Now let’s go back to our text, it says, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life;” (1 Pet. 3:7)
1. Notice the words, “…giving honour unto the wife.”
2. Now what does that mean?
3. The word “honour” is translated from a Greek word (time) that literally means “value” or “worth.”
3. And so, when Peter admonished husbands to honour their wives, he was simply admonishing us to esteem our wives highly (place a very high value upon them) and then treat them accordingly.

B. Let me tell you something, fellows, other than your salvation, the most valuable, the most precious, the most prized possession that you have is your wife!
1. Solomon wrote in Prov. 18:22, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.”
2. He put it like this in Prov. 31:10, “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.”
3. (Illus.- About a year and a half ago I went into Feagan’s Jewelry store in Charles Town to buy my wife something for her birthday. Since her birthday is in July and since the July birth stone is a ruby, I decided to buy her some ruby studded earrings. When the man behind the counter showed me a beautiful pair of earrings, I asked him, “How much?” [That was a mistake.] I almost choked when he told me the price! To be honest with you, I almost changed my mind about buying her ruby earrings. But I thought about this verse in Prov. 31:10 and I said to myself, “My wife is worth far more than this.” and so I bought them.)
4. I say it again, fellows, other than our salvation, our wives are the most valuable possession that we have!

C. Now listen to me, if we place the value upon our wives that we should, we are going to do a couple of things.
1. First of all, we are going to PROTECT them!
2. Did you notice what Peter said about our wives?
3. He said that they are “…the weaker vessel.” (1 Pet. 3:7)
4. Now, ladies, don’t be offended by that, because Peter is not saying that wives are weaker mentally, or even emotionally, but rather they are weaker PHYSICALLY.
5. (Illus.- I heard one preacher explain it like this; he said, “Men are like denim and women are like silk. Denim is definitely stronger than silk, however silk is more beautiful and more precious than denim.”)
6. And so, if we husbands value our wives as we should, especially since they are “the weaker vessel,” we are going to do everything within our power to protect them.
7. Not only from physical harm, but also from spiritual and emotional harm.

D. The second thing we will do, guys, if we value our wives as we should, is that we will RESPECT them.
1. Did you notice what else Peter said about our wives?
2. He not only said that they are “…the weaker vessel,” but he also said that they are “…heirs together” with us “of the grace of life;” (1 Pet. 3:7)
3. In other words, when it comes to salvation (all that God has promised to those who believe in His Son), our wives are most definitely our EQUALS. (We are “heirs together.”)
4. Paul put it like this in Gal. 3:28, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.”

E. By the way, one of the things that sets Christianity apart from most, if not all, of the false religions of the world is the place of honor that it gives to women.
1. No false religion honors women and respects women the way that Christianity does.
2. This is why a good husband honors his wife.

F. Notice, finally, that a good husband…

III. Prays For His Wife.

A. And not only that, but the effectiveness of his own prayers is directly related to how he treats his wife.
1. A lot of people overlook the very last phrase in our text, but that is a mistake.
2. Let’s look at that verse one more time, it says, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” (1 Pet. 3:7)
3. Notice the words “…that your prayers be not hindered.”

B. In Matt. 5:23-24, Jesus said something very interesting, He said, “Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.”
1. In other words, if you getting ready to offer worship God, and God reminds you that a brother in Christ has a legitimate grievance against you, before you try to worship God, you go and make things right with your brother.
2. The implication is, if you don’t do that, your worship will be in VAIN.
3. Well, the same thing is true when it comes to HUSBANDS and PRAYER.
4. Fellows, if you are getting ready to pray, and God reminds you that your wife has a legitimate grievance against you, before you try to pray, you go and make things right with your wife.
5. If you don’t do that, your prayers will be in vain (a waste of time and breath).
6. Isn’t that what Peter said?
7. He said, “If you don’t know your wife and treat her accordingly, if you don’t honor her, protect her, and respect her, your prayers will be “hindered.”

C. Which takes right back to something I said last Sunday. Because we are “one flesh,” when we hurt our WIVES, we hurt OURSELVES.

Conclusion:

A. No there are no perfect husbands, but there are many good husbands, and every husband here this morning has the capacity to be a good husband.
1. What is a good husband?
2. A good husband KNOWS his wife (takes the time and puts forth the effort to get to know his wife, what her needs are, what makes her tick).
3. A good husband HONORS his wife (by protecting her and respecting her).
4. A good husband PRAYS for his wife (realizing that the effectiveness of his prays is directly related to how he treats his wife).

B. Let me ask you a question, guys.
1. According to what we have learned this morning about what constitutes a good husband, can you honestly say that YOU are a good husband?
2. If not, would you commit yourself this morning to becoming one?

C. If you were to die right now, would you go to heaven? If not, let me tell you how.

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