An Help Meet For Him

Posted by on Jan 8, 2012

An Help Meet For Him

“An Help Meet For Him”

MP3 Version: “An Help Meet For Him

Scripture Text:  Genesis 2:18

By Pastor Mike Withem
First Baptist Church
Ranson, West Virginia

Introduction:

A. For several weeks now I have been preaching on the subject of marriage and the family.
1. Thus far, we have focused most of our attention on the role of the husband.
2. What is the husband’s role in marriage?
3. His role is one of LEADERSHIP.
4. In other words, like Joshua of old, he is to be the spiritual leader of his family.)
5. His leadership should be…
-LOVING,
-CONFIDENT,
-EXEMPLARY.

B. We also learned that a husband should LOVE his wife.
1. The Bible says in Eph. 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”
2. How did Christ love the church?
3. He loved it with a…
-SELFLESS love,
-SERVING love,
-SACRIFICIAL love.

C. We also learned that a husband should be a GOOD husband.
1. What constitutes a good husband? A good husband…
-KNOWS his wife,
-HONORS his wife,
-PRAYS for his wife.
2. The Bible says in 1 Pet. 3:7, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
3. And so, thus far, we have focused most of our attention on the role of the husband in marriage.

D. This morning, however, it is time to change our focus from the husband to the WIFE, and I want us to begin by answering this question, “What is the wife’s PRIMARY role in the marriage relationship?”
1. In order to answer this question, we must go back to the very beginning, the book of Genesis, when God created the first woman.
2. The first thing that I want to bring your attention, this morning, is the fact that as wonderful a creation that he was, by himself,…

I. Adam Was Seriously Lacking.

A. How do we know this?
1. We know this because of what God said in Gen. 2:18, “…It is not good that the man should be alone;”
2. Notice the words “not good.”
3. You know, it’s interesting how that when God created “light,” He said in Gen. 1:4 that “…it was good:”
4. When God created the “dry land,” as well as the vegetation that covered the earth, again, He said in Gen. 1:12 that “…it was good.”
5. When God created the sun, the moon and the stars,  again, He said in Gen. 1:18 that “…it was good.”
6. When God created the “fowl” of the air and the fish in the seas, again, He said in Gen. 1:21 that “…it was good.”
7. When God created the land animals, again, He said in Gen. 1:25 that “…it was good.”
8. And so, five different times, when God created…
-light,
-dry land,
-heavenly bodies,
-fowl and the fish,
-the land animals,
each time God said that “…it was good.”
9. However, after God had created Adam, He said just the OPPOSITE, He said, “…It is not good that the man should be alone.” (Gen. 2:18)

B. Now this does not mean that there was something WRONG with Adam, or that he was FLAWED in some way.
1. It simply means that Adam, by himself, was seriously lacking.
2. In other words, he was INCOMPLETE!
3. Let me show you what I mean.
4. After God had created Eve, He said this, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Gen. 2:24)
5. Now think about this, if Adam and Eve together were “one flesh” (one whole person), then before Eve came along, Adam must have been half a person.
6. That, of course, is not true, literally, however, there is a sense in which it is true.
7. Without Eve, Adam was incomplete!

C. (Illus.- Let me give you another example. I’ve heard many of you husbands refer to your wives as your “better half.” If that is true, if your wife is your better half, then you must have been HALF A MAN before you met her!)
1. You smile at that, but there is a lot of truth to that!
2. And so, by himself, Adam was seriously lacking.

D. The second thing that I want to bring to your attention, this morning, is the fact that…

II. God Made Eve To Complete Adam.

A. God said, “…It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” (Gen. 2:18)
1. That phrase “an help meet” is translated from a Greek word (ezer) that literally means “someone to HELP or to render AID.”
2. And so, what God said was, “I will make Adam someone to help him, someone to render aid to him, someone to assist him in becoming a COMPLETE (whole)  man.

B. What did God do then?
1. He “…caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam,…and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And [from] the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman,” (Gen. 2:21-22)
2. After God had created Eve and brought her to Adam, he joined them both together as man and wife, and as a result, Adam became a complete (whole) man.
3. He was no longer alone.
4. He was no longer without a helper.
5. He was no longer without someone to aid him in fulfilling God’s purpose for his life.

C. Which brings us back to my original question.
1. What is a wife’s primary role in the marriage relationship?
2. Her primary role is to be…

III. A Help To Her Husband.

A. Now I realize that this will not sit well with many wives today, especially those who are of a LIBERAL persuasion.
1. But the fact is, if you are married, your life should REVOLVE around your husband.
2. Other than the LORD, of course, He should be at the CENTER of your life.
3. Every thing you do, and I mean EVERY thing, first and foremost, should be done with him in mind.
4. You should constantly be asking yourself the question, “How can I help my husband, how can I aid my husband, how can I assist him in becoming the man that God would have him to be?”
5. Every thing else in your life should be SECONDARY to this primary role.

B. But someone says, “Wait a minute, pastor, you are getting ALL of that from Gen. 2:18?
1. YES I am, however, this is not the only place in God’s Word where we find this principle taught.
2. For example, in 1 Cor. 11, Paul is dealing with the subject of head coverings, how that Christian men should have short hair and Christian women should keep their hair long.
3. Notice the reason that he gives for this in Vrs. 7-9, “For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.”
4. Notice again the last phrase in this passage, Paul said, “Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.”
5. I know this is a very old-fashioned idea.
6. I know it runs contrary to modern thought.
7. I know it doesn’t sit well with the “women-libbers” of our day.
8. But the Bible is VERY clear on this, a wife’s primary role in the marriage relationship is to be A HELP TO HER HUSBAND.

C. (Illus.- I was reading a book by Dr. Jay Adams last week and I came across a quote that says it very well. Here is what he said, “The husband must learn to love his wife as Jesus Christ loves His church. A husband, if need be, should be willing to give up his life for his wife. On the other hand, a wife should so love her husband that she is willing to live for him. She must be willing to POUR HER LIFE INTO BEING HIS HELPER.”)

D. But someone says, “Wait a minute, pastor, this is not fair! The only one who benefits from this kind of an arrangement is my husband. What about ME and MY NEEDS?”
1. That’s a good question, however, your premise is wrong.
2. You see, your husband is NOT the only one who benefits, but YOU benefit as well.
3. It’s like this, the more you devote your life to helping your husband, the better man he becomes, and the better man he becomes, the better husband he will be to you!
4. (Illus.- I sometimes hear wives complain about their “worthless, no-count husbands,” and I realize that sometimes these complaints are to some extent justified. However, I can’t help but wonder if at least PART of the reason that these wives have “worthless, no-count” HUSBANDS, is because their husbands have “worthless, no-count” HELPERS.)

E. Do you understand what I am saying, ladies?
1. Your husband is, at least in part, the man that you have made him!
2. If he is WEAK, it is because you have made him weak
3. If he is INSECURE, it is because you have made him insecure.
4. If he is INADEQUATE, it is because you have made him inadequate.
5. If he is LACKING in any way, it is because you haven’t fulfilled your role as his completer.
6. Listen, ladies, perhaps if you would spend LESS time criticizing and tearing down your husband, and MORE time encouraging and building him up, he would become a better man, thus becoming a better husband, thus making you a much happier and more satisfied wife!

F. There is something else that I want to call to your attention here.
1. If a wife is UNHAPPY in her marriage, it is most likely because she is not fulfilling her role in the marriage.
2. (Illus.- Years ago I heard a sermon by the late Dr. Jack Hyles entitled, “Woman, The Completer.” Last week I found the text for this sermon on the internet. Notice how Bro. Hyles begins his sermon, “Nothing is happy, until it fulfills its purpose for existence. God has made everything on purpose. He makes nothing by accident. Nothing is happy until it finds the purpose for which God has made it. No one is happy unless he finds and fulfills the purpose for which God has made him.”)
3. (Illus.- For example, God made an eagle to soar. If an eagle does not soar, it is not happy. An eagle can say, “I want to be a fish and swim,” but an eagle won’t be happy swimming. An eagle can say, “I want to be a dog and run through the yard,” but an eagle won’t be happy running through the yard. An eagle is happy ONLY when it is soaring. Why? Because God made an eagle to soar!)
4. The same thing is true with people.
5. God made woman for man.
6. God made a wife for her husband.
7. God made a wife to devote her life to helping her husband become all that he can be, and she is NOT going to be happy unless she is fulfilling that purpose.

G. Some wives think that they can find happiness in devoting their lives to their children, but they can’t.
1. When God created Eve, He didn’t look down from heaven and see children who needed rearing, but rather a man who needed completing.
2. Listen, ladies, while I would never advocate neglecting your children, before you were a mother, you were a wife, and your husband needs you far MORE than your children!
3. Other wives think that they can find happiness in devoting their lives to a career, but they can’t.
4. When God created Eve, He didn’t look down from heaven and see a company that needed an employee, but rather a husband who needed a completer.
5. Now this is not to say that a wife should never work outside the home (I will deal with this more later on), but before you were a working woman, you were a wife, and your husband needs you far MORE than your employer.
6. Listen ladies, you can disagree with me if you want, but the honest truth is, the ONLY way that you are going to be truly happy is by fulfilling your God-given purpose as a wife and making helping your husband your number one priority in life.

Conclusion:

A. What have we learned this morning?
1. First all, we learned that as wonderful a creation as he was, by himself, ADAM WAS SEVERELY LACKING.
2. Secondly, we learned that GOD MADE EVE TO COMPLETE ADAM.
3. Last of all, we learned that a wife’s primary role in the marriage relationship is to be A HELP TO HER HUSBAND.

B. Ladies, are you fulfilling your God-given role in your marriage?
1. Are devoted to your husband?
2. Is he the most important person in your life?
3. Do you put him before your children, before your career, or anything else in your life?
4. Are you fully committed to helping him become every thing that God would have him to be.
5. If you cannot answer yes to all of these questions, I know something about you, I know that you are not as happy with your marriage as you should be.
6. Why? Because you are not fulfilling the purpose for which God made you.
7. While your husband suffers from you lack of devotion to him, YOU are the real loser here.

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