They Shall Be One

Posted by on Jun 24, 2012

They Shall Be One

“They Shall Be One”

MP3 Version: “They Shall Be One

Scripture Text: Genesis 2:18-25

By Pastor Mike Withem
First Baptist Church
Ranson, West Virginia


A. This morning, as we continue our study of Genesis, we are going to focus our attention on the “first family.”
1. Now, by “first family,” I don’t mean President and Mrs. Obama, although in a political sense, they ARE our first family.
2. The family I’m talking about is the very first family that God created and placed on this earth, and that is, of course, Adam and Eve.
3. By the way, did you know that marriage and the family was the very FIRST institution that God created.
4. Before He created government, before He created the church, God created and established the family.
5. Not only is the family the first of God’s institutions, it is also the MOST important.
6. Why do I say that? I say that because the family is the foundation of every other institution, which means that as goes the family, so goes the government, and as goes the family, so goes the church.

B. Now, in some ways, the first family was very DIFFERENT from any other family.
1. For example, Adam and Eve didn’t have any in-laws, which means that they never had any arguments related to their in-laws.
2. Think about it, Eve never had to deal with Adam comparing her cooking to his mother’s cooking, and Adam never had to deal with a critical mother-in-law, which eliminated a whole lot of arguments.
3. Not only did they not have any in-laws, they didn’t have any competition either.
4. Think about it, Eve never had to worry about Adam looking at another woman, and Adam never had to hear his wife say, “Of all the men that I could have married, I had to marry you!”
5. And so, in some ways, the “first family” was very different from any other family.

C. However, in other ways, they were identical, which means that there is a lot that we can learn from the “first family.” For example, we can learn about the…

I. Purpose of Marriage.

A. What is the purpose of marriage?
1. There is something very interesting here in Genesis 2.
2. Back in Genesis 1, over and over again, we find the expression, “it was good.”
3. God created the “light,” and “it was good.” (Vrs. 4)
4. He created the “dry land,” and “it was good.” (Vrs. 10)
5. He created the “grass” and the trees, and “it was good.” (Vrs. 12)
6. He created the son, the moon, and “the stars,” and “it was good.” (Vrs. 18)
7. He created the sea creatures and the “fowl” of the air, and “it was good.” (Vrs. 21)
8. He created the “beast” and the “cattle,” and “it was good.” (Vrs. 25)
9. He created “man,” and “it was…good.” (Vrs. 31)
10. In face, we are told that every thing that God created was not only “good,” but “very good.” (Vrs. 31)

B. But then we come to Genesis 2, and find a very DIFFERENT expression.
1. Notice again Vrs. 18 of our text, “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone;”
2. Now this does not mean that there was something wrong with Adam or that he was flawed in some way.
3. Adam was perfect, in and of himself.
4. What it means is that, by himself, Adam was lacking.
5. By himself, Adam was not complete (there was something missing).

C. WHAT was missing?
1. Vrs. 18 of our text goes on and tells us what was missing, it says, “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” (Gen. 2:18)
2. What Adam needed was a suitable helper, or a COMPANION.
3. You know that while Adam was naming the animals, he had to notice that for every MR. animal, there was a MRS. animal.
4. In other words, Mr. Deer had a Mrs. Deer.
5. And Mr. Giraffe had a Mrs. Giraffe.
6. And Mr. Lion had a Mrs. Lion.
7. And Mr. Racoon had a Mrs. Racoon.
8. Yet for Adam, there was NO Mrs. Adam.
9. Notice again Vrs. 20 of our text, “And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.” (Acts 2:20)

D. And so, what did God do to remedy this?
1. He created a Mrs. Adam (Eve).
2. By the way, let me point out here that Eve was not an AFTERTHOUGHT with God.
3. In fact, did you realize that because of Who He is, God has NEVER had an afterthought!
4. God knew all along that He was going to create a companion for Adam, and so before the Sixth Day of creation came to an end, God did just that.
5. Notice how He did it, Vrs. 21-22, “And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.” (Gen. 2:21-22)

E. Now, back to our original question.
1. What is the purpose of marriage?
2. From what we have seen, I think we can rightly say that the primary purpose of marriage is COMPANIONSHIP (not the only purpose, but for sure the primary purpose).

F. But let’s not stop here.
1. This companionship (relationship) between a husband and his wife, as far as intimacy is concerned, should SURPASS every other human relationship.
2. Notice again Vrs. 24 of our text, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Gen. 2:24)
3. That word “cleave” is translated from a Hebrew word that literally means “to cling or adhere.”
4. Just think of “super glue.”
5. And so, the relationship between a husband his wife, as far as intimacy is concerned, should surpass every other human relationship.

G. This is why God said that when a man becomes married, he should “…leave his father and his mother.” (Gen. 2:24)
1. Now this does NOT mean GEOGRAPHICALLY.
2. It does not mean that he should move out of town or out of state or out of the country, although in a few cases this might be a good idea.
3. What it means is to leave EMOTIONALLY.
4. Married couples (husbands and wives) need to guard against allowing any one, even their parents, to come between them. (You know how mothers-in-law can be.)

H. And so, from the “first family,” we can learn about the purpose of marriage. We can also learn about the…

II. Partnership of Marriage.

A. We’ve all heard about “The Battle Of The Sexes.”
1. While this struggle has been going on ever since the fall of man, in recent years it has become very intense, which is bad enough.
2. But what’s really sad is the fact that in many marriages today, the battle rages, where husbands and wives are constantly vying with one another to prove who is superior to the other.

B. That is NOT the way it was with the “first family.”
1. God created Eve to be a “completer,” not a “competitor” and there is a BIG difference.
2. Did you notice that when God created Adam and Eve, He made them very DIFFERENT? (Not just physically!)
3. While it is true that men and women are very different physically, they are also very different mentally, as well as emotionally.
4. (Illus.- Women tend to be more personal than men. Women have a deeper interest in people and feelings, building relationships; while men tend to be more preoccupied with practicalities that can be understood through logical deduction. Men tend to be more challenge and conquer oriented, competing for dominance, hence, their strong interest in sports. Why would a woman be less interested in a football game? Because close, loving relationships are usually not developed on a football field! Also, watch what happens during many family vacations. A man is challenged by the goal of driving 400 miles a day, while his poor exhausted wife wants to stop now and then to drink coffee and relax and relate. He thinks that’s a waste of time because it would interfere with his goal.)

C. Now because God created men and women different, both the husband and wife have unique gifts and abilities that they can each bring into the marriage relationship.
1. Not in order to prove who is superior, but rather to add to and strengthen the marriage as a whole.
2. (Illus.- You know that men and women think differently. While men have a tendency to think with their HEADS, women have a tendency to think with their HEARTS. Now which is needed in a marriage? They are BOTH needed in a marriage. You need a good head, because you want to make wise decisions, but you also need a good heart because you want your decisions to be compassionate. There needs to be a balance of the two.)
3. This is why marriage needs to be a partnership, husbands and wives working together, each bringing their own unique gifts and abilities into the marriage relationship.

D. Some husbands think, that because God has made them the HEAD of the family, they should make all the decisions without any input from their wives.
1. This is not only wrong, it is also STUPID!
2. Listen fellows, your wife knows things that you do not know.
3. She understands things that you do not understand.
4. She has the ability to perceive (sense) things that will never show up on your radar.
5. Does this mean she is ALWAYS right?
6. NO, it doesn’t mean that at all.
7. Sometimes she will be wrong.
8. What it does mean, however, is that she has so much to bring to the decision making process in your marriage, and you are an absolute IDIOT if you don’t listen to her.
9. (Illus.- In fact, I would almost be willing to bet that there is not a husband here this morning, if you were to be totally honest, you would have to say that there have been times in your marriage when you WISHED you had listened to your wife. You didn’t, but you wish you had!)

E. And so, marriage is a partnership.
1. I like what Adam said after God had brought him his new bride, he said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” (Gen. 2:23)
2. Sounds like a partnership to me!

F. There is one more thing that we can learn about marriage from the “first family,” and that is we can learn about the…

III. Permanence of Marriage.

A. Let’s go back to that word “cleave” for just a moment.
1. God said, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife:” (Gen. 2:24)
2. From the meaning of the word “cleave” that we saw a moment ago, it is clear that God intends for the marriage bond to be a PERMANENT bond!

B. We know this from what Jesus said in Matt. 19:5-6, “…For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Matt. 19:5-6)

C. But someone asks, “If God intends for marriage to be permanent, why do over 50% of marriages end in divorce, even among professing Christians?
1. As far as the legal documents are concerned, the two most common reasons given for divorce today are “incompatibility” and “irreconcilable differences.”
2. (Illus.- However, Better Homes & Gardens magazine did a survey a while back and where they asked the following question, “What is the number one reason for divorce and what is the number two reason?” They got back over 300,000 responses to the survey, and do you know what answers they got back? Are you ready for this? The number one reason given was “IMMATURITY” and the number two reason “SELFISHNESS.” Not incompatibility and irreconcilable differences, but immaturity and selfishness.)

D. But someone says, “Every marriage is going to encounter rough waters (problems). What do you do when these problems come?”
1. You deal with them!
2. If your problems are related to your immaturity, you grow up, and if they are related to your selfishness, you start thinking about someone other than yourself!
3. In other words, you find the sin that is at the root of your problem, and you deal with that sin.
4. The problem, however, is that many couples don’t want to deal with (face the ugliness of) their sin, so they just add to (compound) their sin by ending the marriage.

E. By the way, when a marriage ends in divorce, EVERYONE is a loser.
1. It doesn’t matter how the judge rules.
2. It doesn’t matter who gets what possessions.
3. It doesn’t matter who gets custody of the children.
4. Every one is a loser.
5. The HUSBAND loses.
6. The WIFE loses.
7. And most of all, the CHILDREN lose.

F. You know, if God had not created marriage to be a permanent bond, He would have made an Evelyn at the same time He made Eve, and He would have said, “Adam, here’s your wife, Eve. I think you will be happy with her, but if not, no problem, you can give Evelyn a try.”


A. What have we learned about marriage from the “first family”?
1. We’ve learned about the PURPOSE of marriage.
2. We’ve learned about the PARTNERSHIP of marriage.
3. We’ve learned about the PERMANENCE of marriage.

B. May I ask you some personal questions.
1. Is your spouse your closest and dearest friend, or have you allowed someone to come between you and them?
2. Is your spouse your partner, or your competitor? Do you work together to strengthen your marriage or do you find yourself fighting against one another?
3. Is your commitment to your spouse a permanent commitment. When you stood at the alter and spoke the words, “till death do us part,” did you really mean it?

C. One more question, “If you should die right now, do you know for sure that you would go to heaven???”