MP3 Version: “Whosoever Believeth”
Scripture Text: John 3:16

By Pastor Mike Withem
First Baptist Church
Ranson, West Virginia

Introduction:

A. Over and over again the Bible admonishes sinners to “believe” in Jesus.
1. Just in the verses that Bro. Mike read a moment ago, THREE times sinners were admonished to believe in Jesus.
2. John 3:15, “That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life.”
3. John 3:16, “…that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”
4. John 3:18, “He that believeth on him is not condemned:”
5. And this is just in the verses that Bro. Mike read a moment ago.
6. In fact, I’m told that in John’s Gospel alone, at least NINETY times you find the word “believe.”
7. And so, over and over again the Bible admonishes sinners to “believe” in Jesus.

B. But WHAT does it mean to “believe” in Jesus?
1. Well, it means more than just believing in the INTELLECTUAL sense.
2. In fact, most people believe in Jesus in the intellectual sense; they believe…
-that He was a real person,
-that He claimed to the Son of God,
-that He died on a cruel Roman cross.
3. In other words, they believe in Him in the same sense that they believe in George Washington, or Abraham Lincoln, or any other well know historical figure.

C. However, to “believe” in Jesus in the BIBLICAL sense means something entirely different.
1. The Greek word that is translated “believeth” in John 3:16 is the word “pisteuo,” and what that word means is “to have FAITH in” or “to TRUST in” or “to RELY upon.”
2. Now with that in mind, to “believe” in Jesus means to put our faith (trust) in Him, as well as the sacrifice that He made for us on the cross, to make us fit (worthy) of heaven.
3. You see, because of our sin, we cannot, in and of ourselves, be worthy of heaven.
4. However, when we put our faith in Christ, we become worthy “in Him.”
5. Notice what the Bible says in Phil. 3:9, “And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith:”
6. And so, to believe in Jesus means to put all of our trust in Him and the sacrifice that He made for us on the cross, to make us fit (worthy) of heaven.

D. Did you notice that I said “ALL of our trust”?
1. I meet a lot of people who tell me that they believe in Jesus, yet they are clearly trusting in other things as well to help get them to heaven.
2. Things like their good works, their baptism or their church affiliation.
3. They will tell you that they are trusting Jesus, yet at the same time they have a “BACK-UP PLAN,” just in case Jesus is not enough.
4. Listen, that’s NOT believing in Jesus.
5. To believe in Jesus means to put ALL of your trust in Him, to trust Him ONLY, to make Him your ONLY hope for heaven.
6. I promise you, this morning, on the authority of the Word of God, if you put your faith in Christ, you WON’T need a back-up plan!

E. Now, this morning, I want us to answer this question, “What happens when a lost sinner believes in Jesus?” May I say, first of all, when a lost sinner believes in Jesus…

I. He Is Saved!

A. I love that word “saved,” don’t you?
1. By the way, it is a Biblical term.
2. For example, Jesus said in John 10:9, “I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved.”
3. And do you remember what Paul told the Philippian jailor in Acts 16:31? He said, “…Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved.”
4. Then, my all time favorite has to be Rom. 10:13, which says, “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”
5. And so, the word “saved” is a Biblical term.

B. But this raises a question, “If believing (trusting) in Jesus results in a person being saved, from WHAT exactly is he saved?
1. First and foremost, he is saved from the PENALTY of sin.
2. The Bible says in Rom. 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death;”
3. Now you’ve got to understand something about this word “death.”
4. When the Bible says that “the wages of sin is death,” it is NOT talking about physical death, but rather spiritual death.
5. It is talking about what the Bible refers to as “the second death.”
6. Notice what the Bible says in Rev. 21:8, “But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.”

C. And so, the moment a lost sinner believes in Jesus, he is saved from the penalty of sin, which means that his eternal destiny is changed.
1. One moment he is lost and on his way to hell.
2. The next moment, after believing in Jesus, he is saved and on his way to heaven.

D. And so, when a lost sinner believes in Jesus, He is saved. Notice also, that when a lost sinner believes in Jesus,…

II. He Is Born Again.

A. Do you remember the conversation that Jesus had with Nicodemus in the first part of John 3?
1. We are told that he came to Jesus by night, and he said, “Rabbi, we know that thou art a teacher come from God: for no man can do these miracles that thou doest, except God be with him.” (John 3:2)
2. It was then that Jesus said to him, “Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” (John 3:3)
3. Nicodemus, of course, didn’t have a clue what Jesus was talking about.
4. He said, “How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother’s womb, and be born?” (John 3:4)
5. Jesus then explained to him that he wasn’t talking about being born again physically, but rather spiritually.
6. He said, “That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.” (John 3:6)

B. What does it mean to be “born again”?
1. It simply means to be born in a spiritual sense, or to be made alive in one’s spirit.
2. You see, before a man is saved, he is DEAD spiritually.
3. He has a spirit within him, but his spirit is dead (without any life whatsoever).
4. The Bible says in Eph. 2:1, “And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins;”
5. Paul put it like this in Col. 2:13, “And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath he quickened together with him, having forgiven you all trespasses;”
6. And so, before a man is saved, he is DEAD spiritually.
7. However, the very moment that he believes (trusts) in Jesus, he is born again (his spirit is made alive)!

C. By the way, this is when a person becomes a child of God, because when he is born again, he is born into the family of God!
1. The Bible says in John 1:12, “But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:”
2. Paul put it like this in Gal. 3:26, “For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.”
3. And so, when a person believes in Jesus and is born again, he becomes a member of God’s family.

D. Now some people would have us to believe that everyone is a child of God, whether they have been saved or not.
1. This, of course, is not true.
2. In fact, the Bible tells us that those who have not been saved, at least in a spiritual sense, are children of the DEVIL, not children of God.
3. Do you remember what Jesus told a group of unsaved Jews in John 8:44? He said, “Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do.”

E. And so, when a lost sinner believes in Jesus, he is not only saved, he is also born again.
1. But we are not done yet.
2. When a lost sinner believes in Jesus,…

III. He Is Justified.

A. The Bible says in Rom. 5:1, “Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:”
1. Paul put it like this in Gal. 2:16, “Knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ,”
2. What does it mean to be “justified”?
3. It means at least two things.
4. First of all, it means to be declared INNOCENT.
5. (Illus.- Suppose you are on trial for some crime. The prosecution will present their case, then your attorney will present your case, then a jury will render a verdict, either guilty or not guilty. To be justified means to be declared “not guilty” in the sight of God!)
6. But someone says, “Wait a minute! I AM guilty. I have sinned against God. I have broken His laws. I have violated His commandments.”
7. Of course you have! We ALL have!
8. However, even though that is true, those who trust in Jesus are declared innocent (NOT GUILTY)!

B. However, to be justified means something else.
1. Not only does it mean to be declared innocent, it also means to be declared RIGHTEOUS!
2. Notice what the Bible says in 2 Cor. 5:21, “For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.”
3. (Illus.- Someone asked me once, “How good do I have to be in order to go to heaven?” I said, “You have to be perfect.” They said, “Well, I guess I’ll never make it to heaven.” I then explained to them that while they can never be perfect, in and of themselves, if they will trust Jesus, God will give them His perfect righteousness, and on the basis of that righteousness, they WILL make it to heaven.)
4. If you will stop and think about it, that’s a pretty good deal.
5. God takes our sin and gives us His righteousness!
6. You won’t find a bargain like that anywhere else!

Conclusion:

A. What happens the moment a lost sinner trusts Jesus?
1. He is SAVED (from the penalty of sin, which is death).
2. He is BORN AGAIN (receives new life from above).
3. He is JUSTIFIED (declared both innocent and righteous in the sight of God).

B. Now let me ask you a question.
1. When you consider this, why would anyone not want to trust Jesus as their Savior?
2. How about you, friend?
3. Have you trusted Jesus?
4. Remember what I said earlier, you haven’t truly trusted Jesus unless you have made Him your ONLY hope of heaven.
5. If you have a “back-up” plan, you aren’t there yet.
6. If you will trust Jesus, this morning, you won’t need a “back-up” plan.

Scripture Text: Genesis 1:2

By Pastor Mike Withem
First Baptist Church
Ranson, West Virginia

Introduction:

A. As many of you know, there has been an effort in recent years by some who claim to be “Bible-believing” Christians, to reconcile the Bible (biblical) account of creation with evolutionary thinking, which asserts that the earth is actually billions of years old.
1. For example, as I alluded to last Sunday morning, there are those who believe in what has come to be called “Theistic Evolution.”
2. In other words, they believe that God created the heaven and the earth, however, they also believe that He used the evolutionary process and that He took billions of years to do it.
3. This concept can be accurately described as the MOSIAC-DARWINIAN THEORY, because it attempts to bring together and unify two irreconcilable beliefs.
4. Again, the reason that some who claim to be “Bible-believing” Christians have embraced this ridiculous belief is because they are attempting to reconcile the Bible with evolutionary thinking which asserts that the earth is billions of years old.

B. By the way, can I say something here?
1. Rather than trying to reconcile the Bible, or rather than trying to bring the Bible in line with the thinking of modern man, shouldn’t we be trying to bring what we think in line with what the Bible says (teaches)?
2. Isn’t the Bible our STANDARD?
3. Isn’t the Bible our AUTHORITY?
4. Isn’t the Bible our BENCHMARK when it comes to what we believe, not only about creation, but about everything else as well?
5. (Illus.- I can illustrate it like this. When you get your bank statement each month and you sit down to reconcile your checkbook, do you reconcile your checkbook with your bank statement, or do you reconcile your bank statement with your checkbook? Someone asks, “What’s the difference?” There’s all the difference in the world. Let me put it like this, when you are looking at both your bank statement and your checkbook, which of the two is your standard, which of the tow is your authority, which of the two is your benchmark, when it comes to determining your true financial situation? The answer, of course, is your bank statement. If they don’t match up, you change the numbers in your checkbook to match your statement, NOT the other way around.)
6. Well, the same thing is true when it comes to the Bible.
7. If what you believe does not match up with the Bible, you change what you believe so that it lines up with the Bible, NOT the other way around.

C. Now, this morning, I want us to focus our attention on yet another example of how some try to reconcile the Bible (bring it in line) with evolutionary thinking, which asserts that the earth is billions of years old.
1. It’s called the “GAP THEORY.”
2. It has also been called the “RUIN-RECONSTRUCTION THEORY.”
3. While it does not incorporate the process of evolution, it does bring the Bible in line with evolutionary thinking by asserting that the earth is billions of years old.

D. Let us begin by looking at…

I. The Gap Theory Explained.

A. While there are slight variations of this theory, all of the variations include the following elements.

B. First of all, the Gap Theory asserts that Gen. 1:1 refers to the original world that was created by God, perhaps billions of years ago.
1. Of course, we know nothing about this event, other than what is recorded in Gen. 1:1.
2. We know that God created it, but we do not know how He did it, nor do we know the order of events or exactly what was created.
3. We are left totally in the dark and either have to guess about these things, or look to evolutionary geologists to give us answers.

C. The Gap Theory also asserts that after the original world was created, that God made the archangel, Lucifer, administrator of His creation. (In other words, He gave him charge over all of His original creation.) Of course, there is NO biblical evidence to support this.

D. The Gap Theory also asserts that when Lucifer rebelled against God, the original world that God had created was RUINED as a result of God’s judgment.
1. Some actually believe that God used a flood to judge the world, which they refer to as “Lucifer’s Flood.”
2. While the Bible does tell us about Lucifer’s rebellion and his subsequent fall, it says nothing about God judging the world at that time.
3. Now the Bible does tell us that God judged the world in Noah’s day (flood) and that He will once again judge the world at the conclusion of the millennium (fire), but there is nothing about a judgement that took place when Lucifer rebelled.

E. Finally, the Gap Theory asserts that the subsequent work that God did in six days, was not the creation of a new world, but rather the recreation of an old world.

F. Now this raises a question, “Why would anyone come up with a theory that clearly has no basis in the Word of God?”
1. By the way, do you know WHO came up with this theory?
2. It wasn’t Darwin, or any other evolutionist.
3. It was actually a Scottish Christian theologian by the name of Thomas Chalmers, who holds the distinction of being the first moderator of the Free Church of Scotland.
4. A few years later, C.I. Scofield, included the Gap Theory in his notes and it’s popularity grew.
5. Now why in the world would Christian theologians, men who claimed to believe the Bible, come up with and spread a theory that has absolutely no basis in the Bible?
6. Well, it just so happens that it was about that same time that Darwin’s theory of evolution became universally accepted by the scientific world.
7. You can say what you want to, but the Gap Theory, because it inserts millions, if not billions of years between Genesis 1:1 and Genesis 1:2, was clearly an attempt by some Christian theologians to appease the non-Christian evolutionists of their day.

G. And so, we see the Gap Theory explained. Now I want us to look at…

II. The Gap Theory Argued.

A. Those who are proponents of this theory do have their arguments (we will look at five, this morning).
1. For example, ONE of their arguments is that the Hebrew word translated “was” in Genesis 1:2, can also be translated “became.”
2. The King James Version says, “And the earth was without form, and void;”
3. Proponents of the Gap Theory say that the word translated “was,” in some cases, can be translated “became.”
4. Of course, they say that the reason the earth “became” without form and void was because of God’s judgement on Lucifer.

B. A SECOND argument that they use is that the phrase “without form and void” in Gen. 1:2 is only found in one other place in the Old Testament (Jer. 4:23), which clearly speaks of judgement and destruction.

Jer. 4:20,23, “Destruction upon destruction is cried; for the whole land is spoiled:…I beheld the earth, and, lo, it was without form, and void; and the heavens, and they had no light.”

C. A THIRD argument that they use is that it is highly improbable that God, the Author of light, would have originally created a world in darkness, which is generally used in Scripture as a symbol of evil.

Gen. 1:2, “…and darkness was upon the face of the deep.”

D. A FOURTH argument that they use is the use of the word “created” in Gen. 1:1, and the use of the word “made” in some of the following verses.
1. Gen. 1:1, “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.”
2. Gen. 1:7, “And God made the firmament,”
3. They make a distinction between these two words, saying that the word “created” implies a new creation (creating something from nothing), while the word “made” implies a recreation (making something over again).

E. A FIFTH argument that they use, and the last one that we will look at this morning, is that the phrase “replenish the earth” found in Gen. 1:28 implies that the earth was once filled but now had to be filled again.

Gen. 1:28, “…and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth,”
F. And so, those are the arguments for the Gap Theory.
1. Dual meaning of the Hebrew word “was.”
2. The context of the phrase “without form and void” in Jer. 4:23.
3. The fact that “darkness” sometimes symbolizes evil.
4. The use of two different words, “create” and “made.”
5. The fact that God commanded Adam and Eve to “replenish” the earth.

G. Now that we have looked at the Gap Theory argued, I want us to refute those arguments, by looking at…

III. The Gap Theory Refuted.

A. Let’s look at these five arguments one at a time.
1. First of all, the argument that Hebrew word “was” can also be translated “became.”
2. While I am most certainly no Hebrew scholar, I did find out that the Hebrew word used here (hayah) is found 264 times in the first five books of the Bible alone, and 258 of those times it is translated “was.”
3. Only 6 times is it translated “became,” and in each of those cases, unlike Gen. 1:2, the context clearly shows that a change of state has occurred.
4. And so, this argument really doesn’t hold any water.

B. Now let’s look at the second argument, the argument that the only other time you find the phrase “without form and void” is in Jer. 4:23, where it clearly speaks of God’s judgement.
1. Again, I am no Hebrew scholar, but I did find out that the two Hebrew words used here (tohuw & bohuw) simply mean “empty” and “uninhabitable.”
2. Of course, at this stage of creation, the earth WAS empty and uninhabitable, but you have to remember that you are not looking at the finished product.
3. (Illus.- When a building contractor begins construction of a house, the first thing he does is dig some footers and pour the foundation. The house, of course, is inhabitable at this point. But, again, you have to remember that this is not the finished product. Come back in a few months and you will find a beautiful finished home most likely inhabited by a very happy family!)
4. And so, again, this argument doesn’t hold water.

C. Now let’s look at the third argument that says it is highly improbable that God, the Author of light, would have originally created a world in darkness, which is generally used in Scripture as a symbol of evil.
1. This argument is very easy to refute.
2. The “darkness” that prevailed upon the earth during this early stage of creation was NOT spiritual darkness, but rather physical darkness, and there is nothing inherently evil about physical darkness.
3. In fact, the Bible says in Psa. 104:19-20, “He (God) appointed the moon for seasons: the sun knoweth his going down. Thou makest darkness, and it is night: wherein all the beasts of the forest do creep forth.”
4. And so, again, this argument doesn’t hold water.

D. Now let’s look at the fourth argument that makes a distinction between the word “created” in Gen. 1:2, and the word “made” that is found in the following verses.
1. Now to be truthful, these are two different words in the Hebrew (bara & asah), however, if you will study all of Gen. 1 carefully, you will see that both of these words are used synonymously throughout the chapter.
2. For example, notice Gen. 1:26 and Gen. 1:27.
3. Gen. 1:26, “And God said, Let us make (asah) man in our image, after our likeness:”
4. Gen. 1:27, “So God created (bara) man in his own image, in the image of God created (bara) he him; male and female created (bara) he them.”
5. And so, clearly, while these are different Hebrew words, they are used interchangeably throughout all of Gen. 1.

E. We are now down to the fifth and final argument for the Gap Theory, which says that God’s command to “replenish the earth” found in Gen. 1:28 implies that the earth was once filled but now had to be filled again.
1. What about that?
2. Again, I am no Hebrew scholar, however I did some research and discovered that the Hebrew verb (maleh) used here simply means “to fill” with no suggestion of repetition.
3. For example, notice Gen. 1:22, “And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill (maleh) the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.”
4. This is the exact same word, however, here it is translated “fill.”
5. And so, again, this argument doesn’t hold water.

Conclusion:

A. Now all of this raises a very important question.
1. If the Gap Theory is so indefensible, so easily refuted, then WHY do many professing Christians today both believe and promote it?
2. One creationist gives the following answer: “The gap theory is popular because it appears to present an interpretation of Genesis that does not radically challenge the evolutionary timetable of geology.” (Monty White)
3. A very well known theologian gives this answer: “Many professing Christians have embraced the Gap Theory because uncounted millions of years could be conveniently tucked into that bottomless hole which is thought to exist between Genesis 1:1 and 1:2. Thus, the Gap Theory may be viewed in part as an attempt by some to appease the evolutionists of our day.” (H.L. Willmington)

C. Do you remember what I said earlier?
1. When it comes to what we believe, the Bible is our…
-standard,
-authority,
-benchmark.
2. Rather than trying to bring the Bible in line with the thinking of modern man, we should bring what we think and what we believe in line with what the Bible clearly teaches!

MP3 Version: “In The Beginning God”

Scripture Text: Genesis 1:1

By Pastor Mike Withem
First Baptist Church
Ranson, West Virginia

Introduction:

A. The first chapter of the book of Genesis is, no doubt, one of the most God-centered chapters in the Bible.
1. I say that because God is mentioned by name thirty-two times in thirty-one verses; and if we add to that the use of personal pronouns, God is mentioned no less than forty-three times.
2. Therefore, in the very first chapter of the Holy Scriptures, the Holy Spirit brings us into the presence of God and keeps us there.
3. It’s no wonder that Satan hates this chapter!
4. It’s no wonder that he has brought up his heavy artillery to discredit this chapter in the minds of men.

B. How important is this first chapter of the book of Genesis?
1. Suffice it to say that if we abandon this chapter, Satan has won!
2. If we abandon it as being either unfactual or unreliable, Satan has won.
3. If we abandon it as being mere mythology, Satan has won.
4. Why do I say that?
5. I say that because if the Holy Spirit cannot be trusted when He tells us about the CREATION, then He cannot be trusted when He tells us about SALVATION.
6. If what he says in Genesis 1 can be questioned, then what he says in Revelation 22 can be questioned as well (as well as every chapter in between).
7. If we cannot believe Genesis 1:1, then why or on what basis should be we believe John 3:16?
8. (Illus.- I like the way that one preacher put it, he said, “This opening verse of the Bible is…the foundational truth of the whole Bible. Without this verse the whole Bible would be like a mammoth building with many floors and no ground floor. Without this statement the Bible would be like a bridge with no support. You must have this verse if you are going to understand all of the rest of the Bible. But if you have this verse, and if you accept this verse, and if you believe this verse, then you have no problem ultimately believing everything else that the Bible says.”)

C. Now let’s notice how this first chapter in Genesis begins, it begins with theses words, “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.” (Gen. 1:1)
1. Only ten words, yet the wealth of knowledge about God that we find in this one verse is immense.
2. For example, in the one verse, we learn that…

I. God Is Real.

A. In other words, God really exists!

B. Now I realize that we are living in a day in which there are many who either QUESTION the existence of God, or outright DENY His existence.
1. According to a recent survey conducted by The Pugh Forum on Religion & Public Life, 1.6% of all adults in the US are atheists, and 2.4% consider themselves agnostics (they have no opinion).
2. When you add these two numbers together, there are MORE atheist and agnostics in the US than there are Mormons, or Jehovah’s Witnesses, or Jews, or Buddhists, or Muslims, or Hindus.
3. That’s a lot of people (8 & 1/4 million in the US alone)who either don’t believe in God, or don’t have an opinion.

C. Now it’s interesting that in this opening verse of the Bible, God merely asserts the fact that He exists.
1. He doesn’t present any proof.
2. He doesn’t put forward any arguments.
3. He doesn’t make any effort whatsoever to change the mind of those who may believe otherwise.
4. He merely asserts the fact that He exists.
5. He said, “In the beginning God…” (Gen. 1:1)

D. Now this is NOT to say that no evidence exists.
1. There is PLENTY of evidence that God exists.
2. For example, the CREATION itself is evidence!
3. David wrote in Psa. 19:1, “The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork.”
4. Paul wrote in Rom. 1:18-19, “For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness; Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them.”
5. Now this raises a question, “HOW has God shown it to them (how has God revealed himself to sinful man)?
6. He answers the question in the very next verse, “For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:” (Rom. 1:20)
7. And so, there is plenty of evidence that God exists.

E. In fact, there is SO much evidence that anyone who does not believe God exists is a FOOL.
1. Now before you accuse me of being too harsh in my assessment, let me point out that GOD is the One who said that, not me.
2. The Bible says in Psa. 14:1, “The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God.”
3. Our atheist friends would say that WE are fools for believing in God, when in fact, it is the other way around.
4. (Illus.- Joseph Addison said it like this, “To be an atheist requires an infinitely greater measure of faith than to receive all the great truths which atheism would deny.”)
5. That is so very true!

F. And so, Gen. 1:1 teaches us that God is real. It also teaches us that…

II. God Is Eternal.

A. Thus far we have focused our attention on the fourth word in our text, the word “God,” however, notice how the verse actually begins.
1. It begins like this, “In the beginning…”
2. Now when you read that, the first question that comes to you mind is, “In the beginning of WHAT?”
3. Most Bible commentators believe that it’s talking about the beginning of TIME, as we (human beings) know it.
4. (Illus.- When I was in Bible school, we had a class entitled, “Ancient History.” As the name implies, it was a study of the ancient history of this world.)
5. Well, Genesis 1 is the most ancient of all world histories.
6. Why? Because it takes us back to the very BEGINNING of time as we know it, the very beginning of this world, as well as the entire universe of which it is a part.

B. Now we do no need to understand here that the phrase “in the beginning” in NO way implies that God Himself had a beginning.
1. You see, God had NO beginning.
2. “In the beginning,” God already existed.
3. “In the beginning,” God was already there.
4. “In the beginning,” God had already been around for a long long time.
5. How long had He been around?

C. Let’s let the Word of God answer that question.
1. Notice what the psalmist wrote in Psa. 90:1-2, “Lord, thou hast been our dwelling place in all generations. Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever thou hadst formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, thou art God.”
2. That word “everlasting” is translated from a Hebrew word that literally means “ETERNITY.”
3. What it’s saying is that God is “from eternity to eternity.”
4. In other words, He had NO beginning, and He will have NO end!
5. Now I realize that this is far beyond our ability to comprehend, but it is true, none the less.
6. The psalmist put it like this in Psa. 93:2, “Thy throne is established of old: thou art from everlasting.”
7. Jesus said it like this in Rev. 1:8, “I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty.”

D. Please turn with me, for a just a moment, to Prov. 8.
1. There is a very interesting passage here, beginning with Vrs. 22, that I want us to read together.
2. While Solomon is the author of Proverbs, the speaker in this passage is not Solomon, but rather “WISDOM.”
3. If you will notice Vrs. 1, it says, “Doth not wisdom cry? and understanding put forth her voice?”
4. Now notice what wisdom says here, beginning with Vrs. 22, “The LORD possessed me in the beginning of his way, before his works of old. I was set up from everlasting, from the beginning, or ever the earth was. When there were no depths, I was brought forth; when there were no fountains abounding with water. Before the mountains were settled, before the hills was I brought forth: While as yet he had not made the earth, nor the fields, nor the highest part of the dust of the world. When he prepared the heavens, I was there: when he set a compass upon the face of the depth: When he established the clouds above: when he strengthened the fountains of the deep: When he gave to the sea his decree, that the waters should not pass his commandment: when he appointed the foundations of the earth: Then I was by him, as one brought up with him: and I was daily his delight, rejoicing always before him; Rejoicing in the habitable part of his earth; and my delights were with the sons of men.” (Prov. 8:22-31)
5. What does this passage teach us about wisdom?
6. It teaches us that just like God, wisdom is ETERNAL, it is from everlasting to everlasting.
7. Because wisdom emanates from God, it is as old as God.

E. And so, not only does Gen. 1:1 teach us that God is real, it also teaches us that God is eternal. Notice finally, this morning, that Gen. 1:1 teaches us that…

III. God Is The Creator.

A. What does it say? It says, “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.” (Gen. 1:1)

B. As you know, there are basically two views that people hold as to the origin of the universe.
1. The secular humanist view asserts that the universe as it exists today is the result of an accident (big bang) followed by billions and billions of years of evolution.
2. The Bible, on the other hand, gives us a very different view.
3. In that ONE SIMPLE STATEMENT, “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth,” the entire theory of evolution is swept away!

C. By the way, the secular humanist view of the origin of the universe and the Biblical view are diametrically opposed.
1. In other words, they have absolutely NOTHING in common (they are at opposite extremes).
2. Some have tried to combine these two views.
3. They are called Theistic Evolutionists.
4. Theistic evolutionists believe that God created the heaven and the earth, yet He used the process of evolution to do it!
5. As we are going to see later in this study, it only took God SIX DAYS to complete His work of creation, not billions and billions of years, and to say otherwise is deny the clear teaching of Scripture.

D. Not only did God create “the heaven and the earth,” He created them out of nothing (He started with nothing).
1. The Bible says in Heb. 11:3, “Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.”
2. We often talk about the creative abilities of man, however there is a BIG difference between man’s creative abilities and God’s.
3. When man creates something, he must have some “raw materials” with which to work.
4. (Illus.- For example, when an artist creates a magnificent oil painting, he begins with a canvas, a brush and some oil paints. Without these raw materials he can do nothing, no matter how talented he may be.)
5. God on the other hand, begins with nothing.
6. In other words, He creates His own raw materials.

E. Now there is something else that I want you to see here.
1. The word “God” in Gen. 1:1 is translated from the Hebrew word, “elohiym.” (pronounced el-o-heem), which literally means “Almighty God.”
2. Of course, you probably knew that.
3. What you may not know is that the word used here is in the PLURAL form.
4. Now Hebrew is different from English.
5. In the English language, you have TWO noun forms, the first being singular, meaning one, and the other being plural, meaning two or more.
6. In the Hebrew language, you have THREE noun forms, the first being singular, meaning one, the second being dual, meaning two, the third being plural, meaning THREE OR MORE.

F. Someone asks, “Does this mean that there are three Gods?”
1. No, there is only ONE God.
2. In the book of Malachi, the prophet asked the following question, “Have we not all one father? hath not one God created us?” (Mal. 2:10)
3. And so, there is ONLY one God.
4. However, this one God is made up of three distinct personalities, the FATHER, the SON, and the HOLY SPIRIT.
5. By the way, all three of these personalities was involved in the creation.
6. The Father, no doubt, was the architect (master designer).
7. The Son, was the One who actually spoke (brought) everything into existence.
8. We know this from John 1:1-3, which says, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The same was in the beginning with God. All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.”
9. The Holy Spirit is the One who watches over the Creation.
10. The psalmist wrote in Psa. 104:30, “Thou sendest forth thy spirit, they are created: and thou renewest the face of the earth.”
11. And so, all three Persons of the Godhead, (Father, Son & Holy Spirit) were and are involved in the creation.

G. And so, God is the Creator!

Conclusion:

A. Just ten words in this very short statement, “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth,” yet so much truth in these ten words.
1. From this statement we learn that GOD IS REAL (really exists).
2. We also learn that GOD IS ETERNAL (from everlasting to everlasting).
3. We also lean that GOD IS THE CREATOR (of all things)
4. Our God is truly a GREAT God!!!!!!!!!

B. Do you know what’s really neat (cool)?
1. The fact that we can know, we can fellowship with, we can have a relationship with this great God.
2. How?
3. Through faith in His Son, Jesus Christ.
4. You see, even though we are all sinners unworthy of anything good from God, He loved us none the less, and sent His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for our sins.
5. In addition to paying the penalty for our sins, Jesus also purchased for us the gift of eternal life.
6. Then He promised that those who put their faith in Christ would receive this wonderful gift.

C. How about you, friend?
1. Do you know this awesome God?
2. Do you have a relationship with the God Who really exists, the God Who is eternal, the God Who created everything???
3. You can, but trusting in His Son as your Savior!

Scripture Text: Romans 14:10-12

By Pastor Mike Withem
First Baptist Church
Ranson, West Virginia

Introduction:

A. (Illus.- Several years ago I was talking to a fellow believer when the subject of “the judgment” came up. While I don’t remember how the subject arose, I do remember something that he said to me during the course of our conversation, He said, “Well, I’m saved, therefore I don’t have to worry about the judgment.” At first I thought he was merely referring to the judgment of the unsaved [Great White Throne Judgment], but after talking to him for a little while longer, it became clear to me that he didn’t believe the saved would be judged at all.)
1. This man was not alone.
2. During my ministry, I have come across a number of believers who were of the opinion that just because they were saved, they were NEVER going to be judged.
3. This, of course, is not true!
4. Now it is true that there is a SENSE in which those of us who are saved will never be judged for our sins, the reason being our sins have ALREADY been judged at Calvary.
5. Notice what the Bible says in 1 Pet. 3:18, “For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the Spirit:”
6. The apostle John put it like this in 1 John 2:1-2, “My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:…And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.”
3. That word “propitiation” means atonement or payment.
4. And so, there is a sense in which those of us who are saved will NEVER be judged for our sins, because in the person of our Lord Jesus Christ, our sins were judged at Calvary.
5. We could say it like this, “Because Jesus died for our sins, those of us who have trusted Him as our Savior don’t have to worry about our sins keeping us out of heaven!”

B. However, to say or to imply that believers will never be judged is contrary to the plain teaching of the Scriptures.
1. There IS going to be a judgment for the saved!
2. There IS going to be an accounting.
3. There IS going to be a reckoning.
4. It’s called the JUDGMENT SEAT OF CHRIST!
5. Notice again Rom. 14:10-12, “But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ….For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God….So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.”
6. Paul is not addressing unbelievers here, but rather believers.
7. And so, there IS a judgment that those of us who are saved will face one day.

C. This morning, I want us to notice at least three things about this coming judgment.

D. First of all, I want us to notice…

I. The Certainty Of This Judgment.

A. We’ve already looked at Rom. 14:10-12. Now I want us to look at 2 Cor. 5:9-10, “Wherefore we labour, that, whether present or absent, we may be accepted of him….For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.”
1. But again, it says, “we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ;”
2. It doesn’t say that…
-we MIGHT appear,
-MAYBE we will appear,
-PERHAPS we will appear,
but rather, we “must” appear!
3. That’s the certainty of this judgment.

B. Listen also to Heb. 13:17, “Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it
with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.”
1. These words of warning, of course, are intended for pastors, those who have been given the oversight of the Lord’s churches.
2. Paul is saying here that those who pastor the Lord’s churches will one day have to give account for how they have fulfilled their ministry.
3. Peter alluded to this in 1 Pet. 5:2-4. Notice what he wrote to pastors, “Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight thereof, not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind;…Neither as being lords over God’s heritage, but being ensamples to the flock….And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, ye shall receive a crown of glory that fadeth not away.”
4. And so, pastors (under shepherds) will one day have to stand before Jesus (the “chief shepherd”) and give account to Him for their service as a pastor.
5. But this is not limited to pastors.
6. Every believer has been given a ministry.
7. You may not be called to be a pastor, but every believer has been given a ministry by God and will one day have to answer to Him as to how well they have fulfilled that ministry.
8. This is the reality of this judgment.

C. Now let us consider…

II. The Timing Of This Judgment.

A. When will this judgment take place?

B. Notice what Paul wrote to Timothy in 2 Tim. 4:1, “I charge thee therefore before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the quick and the dead at his appearing…”
1. When will this judgment take place?
2. It will take place at “his (Christ’s) appearing.”

C. There are actually several things, other than the judgment of course, that will take place at Christ’s appearing.
1. Notice 1 Thess. 4:16, “For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air:”
2. And so, in addition to the judgment, several things are going to take place at Christ’s appearing.

D. When will the Judgment Seat of Christ actually take place?
1. At some point AFTER we meet the Lord in the air.
2. Some believe that it will actually take place in the air.
3. Others believe that it will take place in heaven.
4. Still others believe that the rapture will not take place until after the tribulation and that the Judgment Seat of Christ will take place here on this earth just before the beginning of Christ’s millennial kingdom.
5. Whichever of these views is correct, this much we know for sure, it will take place SOON after “his appearing.”

E. Someone asks, “Well, when can we expect Christ to appear?”
1. The answer is, when we least expect it.
2. Turn with me to Mat. 24:37-44, “But as the days of Noe were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be….For as in the days that were before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noe entered into the ark,…And knew not until the flood came, and took them all away; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be….Then shall two be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left….Two women shall be grinding at the mill; the one shall be taken, and the other left….Watch therefore: for ye know not what hour your Lord doth come….But know this, that if the goodman of the house had known in what watch the thief would come, he would have watched, and would not have suffered his house to be broken up….Therefore be ye also ready: for in such an hour as ye think not the Son of man cometh.”
3. This is why we should live each as though Christ were returning tomorrow!

F. Finally, this morning, let us consider…

III. The Purpose Of This Judgment.

A. Thus far we have considered the…
-CERTAINTY of this judgment,
-TIMING of this judgment,
now let us consider the PURPOSE of this judgment.

B. The purpose of this judgment is two-fold.
1. First, it’s purpose is to CALL US INTO ACCOUNT.
2. In other words, to hold us accountable to God for how we have lived our lives.
3. Again, Rom. 14:12 says, “So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.”
4. And so, first of all, the purpose of this judgment is to call us into account.

C. The second purpose of this judgment is to determine to what extent we will be REWARDED in Christ’s coming kingdom.
1. In other words, to determine what our position will be in that kingdom.
2. Turn with me to Mat. 25:14-21, “For the kingdom of heaven is as a man travelling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods….And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey….Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents….And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two….But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord’s money….After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them….And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more….His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.”

D. Jesus put it like this in His letter to the church of the Laodiceans, “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me….To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne.” (Rev. 3:20-21)

E. Now before I conclude this message, I must warn you about a very sad possibility.
1. While everyone who stands at the Judgement Seat of Christ will end up in heaven (because Christ died for our sins), some, because of sinful choices and wasted lives will walk away from that judgement EMPTY HANDED.
2. 1 Cor. 3:13-15, “Every man’s work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man’s work of what sort it is. If any man’s work abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward. If any man’s work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire.”
3. Just remember that the choices you make today will have a definite bearing on how you fare when, one day, you stand before your Savior.
4. How embarrassed it would be to come away from that judgment empty handed!

Conclusion:

A. What have we learned about the judgment seat of Christ?
1. We’ve learned the CERTAINTY of this judgment (it is going to happen).
2. We’ve learned the TIMING of this judgment (soon after the appearing of our Lord Jesus).
3. We’ve learned the PURPOSE of this judgment (to call us into account and to determine to what extent we will be rewarded in Christ’s coming kingdom).

B. Now what should knowing these things motivate us to do?
1. Paul answered this question in his letter to Titus.
2. Listen to Tit. 2:11-13, “For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men,…Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world;…Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ;”
3. Realizing that one day we will all stand before our Savior and give account for the lives we have lived, we should “live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world;”

C. If Jesus were to return today, how would you fare at His judgment???

D. Going to be another judgment (for unsaved).

MP3 Version: “The Strange Woman” (NOTE: Technical difficulties occurred during this recording and resulted in the loss of the first few minutes of the message as well the scripture reading.)

Scripture Text: Proverbs 2:16-17

By Pastor Mike Withem
First Baptist Church
Ranson, West Virginia

Introduction:

A. I’m sure that we would all agree that INFIDELITY has reached epidemic proportions in America today.
1. I will not bore you with the statistics, but some recent surveys indicate that as many as 65% of all married men and 55% of all married women will have at least one affair during their lifetime.
2. Now secular psychologists will tell you that this is to be expected because we are all GENETICALLY inclined to cheat on our spouses.
3. In other words, it is really not our fault, it’s in our genes and we really can’t help ourselves.
4. Now this may surprise you, but there is a LITTLE bit of truth in that assessment.
5. You see, it IS our genes, which we inherited from our great great grandfather, Adam, and it’s called SIN.
6. But to say that we can’t help ourselves, especially those of us who know Christ and have the Holy Spirit living within us, is absolutely WRONG!
7. Nobody HAS to be unfaithful.
8. Nobody HAS to commit adultery.
9. Nobody HAS to cheat on their spouse.
10. It is clearly a CHOICE, a choice for which we will all answer to God, one day, when we stand before the Judgment Seat of Christ.

B. This morning, I want to answer the question, “What is behind this epidemic of infidelity in our culture today? What causes a man or a woman to violate their marriage vows by having an extramarital affair? What exactly leads to the sin of adultery in a marriage?”
1. Now before I say anything else, let me make something very clear.
2. I realize that I may very well be speaking to someone this morning who has ALREADY blown it, someone who has ALREADY committed this very destructive sin.
3. If that is, indeed the case, please believe me when I say that it is NOT my intention to lay any more guilt upon your shoulders or cause you any more pain.
4. That clearly is the Holy Spirit’s job, not mine.
5. What I do intend to do, however, is to prevent what may have happened to you, from happening to someone else.
6. (Illus.- I’m sure that you’ve heard it said, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Well, that is so true, especially when you are talking about the sin of adultery.)

C. Now back to my question, “What causes a man or a woman to violate their marriage vows by having an extramarital affair? What exactly leads to the sin of adultery in a marriage?”
1. While every case is unique, in our text this morning we see at least three common causes.
2. Notice, first of all, that divorce is often caused by…

I. Flattering Words.

A. Notice again Vrs. 16 of our text, it says, “To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words;”

B. I want you to turn with me to Prov. 7:5, and I want you to read with me Solomon’s very graphic account of a young man who was lured into the grasp of a “strange woman,” beginning with Vrs. 5, “5 That they may keep thee from the strange woman, from the stranger which flattereth with her words. 6 For at the window of my house I looked through my casement, 7 And beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding, 8 Passing through the street near her corner; and he went the way to her house, 9 In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night: 10 And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart. 11 (She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house: 12 Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner.) 13 So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudent face said unto him, 14 I have peace offerings with me; this day have I payed my vows. 15 Therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face, and I have found thee. 16 I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry, with carved works, with fine linen of Egypt. 17 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. 18 Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves. 19 For the goodman is not at home, he is gone a long journey: 20 He hath taken a bag of money with him, and will come home at the day appointed. 21 With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him.”

C. Notice again the words in Vrs. 21, “With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him.”

D. Let me tell you how affairs often begin.
1. They often begin with FLATTERING words.
2. They often begin when someone who is a member of the opposite sex, someone other than your spouse, begins to COMPLIMENT you.
3. Now I’m not talking about JOB related compliments, such as when an employer compliments an employee for a job well done.
4. But I’m talking about compliments that are of a much more PERSONAL nature, especially compliments pertaining to one’s physical appearance.
5. (Illus.- Here’s how it usually happens. Poor Frank is already feeling unappreciated by his wife. One of his co-workers, Julie, decides that she is going to make a play for him, and so she begins by showering him with compliments. She compliments his physique, she compliments his intellect, she compliments his personality, and anything else that she can think to compliment. Frank, of course, being the male egotist that he is, eats it up, and before long actually begins to believe that he is every bit as wonderful as she makes him out to be. One thing leads to another, and before you know it, Frank has cheated on his wife.)
6. It works the other way around, as well.
7. (Illus.- Oftentimes it is the wife who is receiving compliments of a personal nature from one of her co-workers, and because she is feeling unloved or unappreciated by her husband, and because every woman wants to feel special, she allows this inappropriate behavior to continue. Well, one thing leads to another and before you know it, she ends up cheating on her husband.)
8. I’m telling you, this is how affairs often begin, with inappropriate words of flattery.

E. Let me say two things and then I will move on.
1. First of all, if you are the recipient of inappropriate words of flattery, either at work or somewhere else, you need to put a STOP to it immediately!
2. Do whatever it takes, even if you have to find a new job!
3. Listen, no job is worth putting your marriage in jeopardy!
4. But someone says, “Pastor, I enjoy the flattery! What’s wrong with letting it continue as long as I don’t let things get out of hand?”
5. Listen, you are playing with fire, and those who play with fire usually end up getting burnt!

F. The second thing that I want to say is that your wife or your husband shouldn’t have to look elsewhere for compliments or words of affirmation.
1. One of the reasons that Satan is so successful at using this technique to destroy marriages is because so many husbands and wives are NOT getting any affirmation at home!
2. When was the last time that you paid your wife or your husband a sincere compliment???

G. And so, sometimes affairs are caused by flattering words. Notice also, that sometimes they are caused by…

II. Forsaken Guides.

A. Notice again the first part of Vrs. 17 of our text, it says, “Which forsaketh the guide of her youth,”
1. Now there are two questions that we must answer here.
2. First of all, WHO is Solomon talking about when he mentions the “guide” of our “youth”?
3. Within the context of the passage, he is clearly talking about the husband or the wife of our youth.
4. Why does Solomon refer to this woman’s husband as her “guide”?
5. He did so because in God’s order of things, the husband is the head of the wife, and as her head, he is the one who guides and directs her through life.
6. Now, the second question, “WHAT does it mean to forsake the husband or the wife of our youth?
7. It simply means to turn our hearts away from them.
8. We may not actually leave them in a PHYSICAL sense, we may still be living in the same house and sleeping in the same bed, but clearly our heart is pointed away from them (in another direction).

B. Something similar to this happened to Solomon in his old age as a result of marrying all those heathen women.
1. Notice what the Bible says in 1 Kings 11:4, “For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods.”
2. Now I’m sure that Solomon was still going through the motions of worshiping God.
3. I’m sure he was still going to the temple.
4. I’m sure he was still offering the sacrifices.
5. I’m sure he was still singing the Psalms of praise.
6. Yet his heart was not in it.
7. He had drifted away from God.
8. His heart had been turned away from God.

C. This same thing sometimes happens to married couples.
1. Because of various unresolved issues, they drift apart.
2. They are still living in the same house and perhaps even sleeping in the same bed, but clearly their hearts are far far apart!
3. Like Solomon, they are just going through the motions of being married.

D. Now listen to me for just a moment, if you have allowed your heart to be turned away from the wife of your youth or the husband of your youth, you are a prime target for someone else to come along and STEAL, not only your heart, but also you!
1. This is why God’s Word admonishes husbands to “rejoice with the wife of” their “youth.”
2. Notice Solomon’s words recorded in Prov. 5:18-19, “Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.”
3. That word “rejoice” means to find both pleasure and satisfaction.
4. What Solomon is saying here is, “Keep your heart fixed upon the wife of your youth, and look ONLY to her to satisfy both your physical and emotional needs.”
5. In the very next verse Solomon asks a question, “And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?” (Prov. 5:20)
6. In other words, “Why would you forsake the wife of your youth and instead find sexual gratification in the arms of some Jezebel?”

E. But someone says, “Pastor, you don’t understand my particular situation. My wife has turned her heart away from me and she no longer satisfies my needs!”
1. That may be true, however, as we are going to see in just a moment, that does not excuse infidelity. (In fact, there is NO excuse for infidelity.)
2. What you need to do is to find out WHY your wife has turned her heart away from you and WHY she is not longer satisfying your needs, and then begin working on the problem.
3. The thing to do is to get some HELP and to FIX the problem, NOT cheat on your wife!

F. And so, sometimes affairs (infidelity) are caused by forsaken guides.
1. We see, at least, one more cause in our text.
2. Sometimes affairs are caused by…

III. Forgotten Covenants.

A. Notice again the latter part of Vrs. 17 of our text, it says, “…and forgetteth the covenant of her God.”

B. The word “covenant” here simply means a promise.
1. Now there are TWO very important promises that every married person here this morning must never forget.
2. First of all, there is the promise that you made to God soon after you were saved.
3. But someone says, “I don’t remember making God any promise right after I was saved.”
4. Well, you did, and you did it when you were baptized.
5. Notice what the Bible says in Rom. 6:3-4, “Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death? Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.”
6. Did you notice the last few words in this passage?
7. It says that “…even so we also should walk in newness of life.”
8. In other words, when you got baptized, you promised God that from that point on, your life was going to be different, that you were going to put off the “old man,” and put on the “new man.” (Eph. 4:22-24)

C. The second promise that we must never forget is the promise that we made to our spouse at the marriage altar.
1. You know, the promise that said, “…FORSAKING all others, keep thee ONLY unto him so long as you both shall live?”
2. Do you remember that promise!
3. But someone says, “Yea, I remember that promise, but I made that promise to my spouse, NOT to God.”
4. Well, you may not have made that promise TO God, but you definitely made it BEFORE Him, and so it is just as binding.

D. Why do some married people have affairs?
1. Because of forgotten covenants (promises).
2. First of all, they forget the promise that they made to God when they got baptized, the promise to “walk in newness of life.”
3. They also forget the promise that they made to their spouse when they stood at the marriage altar, the promise to “forsake all others and to keep themselves ONLY unto their spouses as long as they both shall live.”
4. Listen, I will make YOU a promise.
5. If you will not forget these promises, and if you will commit yourself to keep these promises no matter what, I promise you, you will NOT have an affair.
6. However, if you come to place in your life where, at least in your own mind, these promises are no longer binding or no longer important, your chances of having an affair will skyrocket. (In fact, I can almost guarantee you that it’s going to happen.)

Conclusion:

A. What is behind the epidemic of infidelity in our culture today? What causes a man or a woman to violate their marriage vows by having an extramarital affair? What exactly leads to the sin of adultery in a marriage?
1. According to Solomon, at least three things.
2. First of all, FLATTERING WORDS (beware of flattering words).
3. Secondly, FORSAKEN GUIDES (when we turn our hearts away from our spouses, we are easy targets for those who love to steal our hearts, as well as us).
4. Last of all, FORGOTTEN COVENANTS (remember your vows).

B. While there are a lot of causes of marital infidelity, one is NEVER justified in cheating on their spouse.
1. Perhaps I am speaking to someone who has not yet crossed this line, but you are getting very close.
2. Before you cross that line, listen to the words of Solomon recorded in Prov. 6:32-33, “But whoso committeth adultery….lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away.”
3. While every sin is destructive, there is something about the nature of this sin that makes it FAR more destructive than others.
4. God may forgive you afterwards, however, there is “a wound and” a “dishonour” that will NEVER go away, that you will carry with you all the days of your life!

MP3 Version: “Ye Cannot Serve God And Mammon”

Scripture Text: Matthew 6:24

By Pastor Mike Withem
First Baptist Church
Ranson, West Virginia

Introduction:

A. I want to begin this morning by giving you a TWO question quiz, but don’t worry because the questions will be “true or false,” which means that you have a 50/50 chance of getting it right.
1. Here’s the first question, “True or false, a husband and wife should NEVER talk about money because it only leads to fights!” (Repeat)
2. The answer to this question, of course, is “False!!!”
3. Now the second question, “True or false, it is impossible to have a great marriage without BOTH communication and agreement on the subject of money.” (Repeat)
4. The answer to this question, of course, is “True!!!”

B. Larry Burkett, a noted financial author, once said this, “Money is either the BEST or the WORST area of communication in our marriages.”
1. As you know, money and money fights are a major cause of divorce today, not to mention the ONE thing that married couples fight about more than anything else.
2. Now this raises a question, “Why does money cause so many problems in a marriage? What is it about money that causes just about every couple to fight and many couples to go so far as to actually get a divorce?”

C. I believe the answer is found in our text, this morning.
1. Notice again what Jesus said in Vrs. 24,“No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.”
2. The reason that money causes so many problems in marriages today is because money has a tendency to CONTROL us.
3. Listen, when money is controlling a couple rather than that couple being in control of their money, you are going to have all sorts of problems.
4. Why?
5. Because, as Jesus said, you “cannot serve God” (put God first in your marriage), if you are serving “mammon” (letting your money control you).

D. Now with that in mind, I would like to share with our married couples five things you can do that will help you to avoid letting your money control you and at the same time will spare you the many problems that come as a result. First of all, you should resolve to…

I. Live Within Your Means.

A. What does it mean to “live within your means”?
1. It simply means to tailor your lifestyle to fit your income.
2. For example, if you have a $ 30,000 a year income, you should NOT be living a $ 45,000 a year lifestyle
3. If you have a $ 50,000 a year income, you should NOT be living a $ 75,000 a year lifestyle.
5. If you have a $ 100,000 a year income, you should NOT be living a $ 150,000 lifestyle.
6. In other words, you should make sure that the cost of your lifestyle (standard of living) does not EXCEED your actual income.

B. The problem today is that easy access to CREDIT makes it possible for married couples to live beyond their means.
1. Credit cards, for example, are among the worst offenders, and new car loans would be next on my list.
2. Someone asks, “What’s wrong with going into debt?”
3. Well, there are a LOT of problems with going into debt.
3. One problem is that going into debt places a couple in financial BONDAGE.
4. The Bible says in Prov. 22:7 that “…the borrower is servant to the lender.”
5. Another problem is the unnecessary STRESS that being in debt places on the marriage, especially when the unexpected happens, and you fall behind on your payments, and the debt collectors begin calling.

C. Do you want to avoid financial bondage, as well as the unnecessary stress that it places on a marriage?
1. It’s really very easy, just follow this one simple rule, “If you can’t pay cash, do without.”
2. Purpose to live within your means!
3. Your marriage will be much stronger as a result.

D. The second thing that you should do, if you want to avoid money problems in your marriage, is you should…

II. Combine Your Assets.

A. (Illus.- A number of years ago I was called upon to counsel a couple who were having marital problems, and it didn’t take me long to figure out what the problem was. It seems that not only did the wife work outside the home, but she also had her own checking account, totally separate from her husbands, and they were constantly fighting over who was going to pay what. You know, who was going buy the groceries, who was pay the rent, who was going to pay the electric bill, who was going to make the car payment, etc. It seems that the vast majority of their arguments were about that.)
1. Since then, I have counseled other couples who also had this same “HIS money” and “HER money” mentality.
2. Listen, that mentality (way of thinking) has absolutely NO place in the marriage relationship.
3. When you got married, you and your spouse became one.
4. What did God say in Gen. 2:24? He said, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
5. You are no longer TWO separate entities, but ONE.
6. This is why Paul wrote in Eph. 5:28, “So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.”

C. Now it is okay to have some things that are separate.
1. For example, it’s okay to have separate towels.
2. It’s also okay to have separate toothbrushes,
3. Or separate coffee cups,
4. Or separate pillows.
5. But when it comes to the important things, like you finances, you need to unite, you need to come together as one, you need to get away from this “his money” and “her money” mentality, and adopt an “our money” mentality.

D. This is why you should combine all of your assets.
1. This is why you should have only ONE checking account. (Not to mention how confusing it is to maintain two accounts.)
2. To do otherwise is to invite all kinds of problems.
3. And take my word for it, the problems will come!

E. The third thing that you should do, if you want to avoid money problems in your marriage, is you should…

III. Appoint A Bookkeeper.

A. There’s something even more confusing than having two different checking accounts, and that is having TWO people writing checks on the same account.
1. (Illus- I remember one couple in particular who made a regular practice of bouncing checks. Come to find out later that their problem was they were both writing checks on the same account, and neither one of them knew what the other was doing. Do you know that verse that says, “…let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:”? [Matt. 6:3] Well, this couple had changed it to say, “Let not the husband know what his wife doeth, and let not the wife know what her husband doeth.”)
2. You can imagine all the problems that can result from this kind of confusion.
3. You know, the Bible says in 1 Cor. 14:40, “Let all things be done decently and in order.”

B. This is why I highly recommend that a couple get together and come to an agreement as to WHO is going to be the “keeper of the checkbook.”
1. ONE person needs to appointed to keep the checkbook.
2. This person will write and record all the checks, pay all the bills, and balance the checkbook on a monthly basis.
3. Now, someone asks, “Should this be the husband or the wife?”
4. It really depends, on a couple of things.
5. First of all, it depend on who is the most ABLE.
6. Listen, if the wife has a business degree or a degree in accounting, she is probably going to be the most able.
7. However, if she has a reputation for being a little “scatter brained” and “forgetful,” then she is probable NOT going to be most able.
8. It also depends on who has the most TIME.
9. If both the husband and wife are more than capable, you will probably want to choose the one who has the most time.’
10. And so, it really depends on who is the most able and who has the most time.
11. But the point is, ONLY ONE person should be assigned this task.

C. However, having said that, the other partner should not be kept in the DARK.
1. There should be NO SECRETS in a marriage.
2. The other partner should be kept informed at all times.
3. The other partner should be able to examine the checkbook at a moments notice.
4. The other partner should be able to ask any question and get a satisfactory answer at any time.
5. This is important for a couple of reasons.
6. First of all, it is important because it eliminates the sense of INSECURITY that results from being kept in the dark (it’s just better to be “in the know” when it comes to the family’s finances).
7. Secondly, it is important because you never know when unexpected circumstances will make it impossible for the appointed “keeper of the books” to do their job.
8. The worst case scenario would be for that person to die.
9. (Illus.- For example, if the husband handles the family’s finances and the wife is completely in the dark, she is going to have a REALLY HARD time if her husband dies. However, if she has been kept in the loop, she will be able to take over the family’s finances without too much difficulty.)

D. And so, if you want to avoid money problems in your marriage you should appoint a bookkeeper. The fourth thing you should do is you should…

IV. Adopt A Budget.

A. By the way, the only way you are going to master your money rather than letting your money master you is to have a BUDGET.
1. But someone says, “I don’t like that word ‘budget’!”
2. Okay, then call it something else, call it a “monthly cash flow plan,” like Dave Ramsey does, or call it something else.
3. Call it whatever you want, but the point is, you absolutely NEED ONE.
4. And your budget needs to be based upon your ACTUAL income (what you actually make and not what you “wish” you made).

B. Why do we need a budget?
1. First of all, because it forces us to THINK about how we are spending our money.
2. Jesus asked a question in Luke 14:28, “For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?”
3. Husbands and wives should sit down together, take a realistic look at their income, and then come up with a workable plan as to how to spend that income.
4. The problem in many marriages is that there is no…
-sitting down,
-counting the cost,
-plan for how to spend the family’s income.
5. Consequently, half way through the month (pay period) they are completely out of money, and they have NO idea where the money went!
6. Then they wonder why they are always fighting about money???

C. Another reason that we need a budget is because it forces us to live WITHIN OUR MEANS.
1. I began this message by saying that we should live within our mean, however, this will never happen without a budget.
2. Of course, this requires not only having a budget, but also being committed to spending ONLY what the budget allows.
3. (Illus.- Someone said to me once, “I don’t do anything without first of all answering the question, “What would Jesus do?” Now, that’s a great question to ask, but sometimes there needs to be a follow up question. Sometimes we need to ask, “Is it in the budget?” In other words, “Can I buy this without violating the terms of my budget?” If the answer is, “No,” then we absolutely shouldn’t buy it.)

D. But someone asks, “What if it is an emergency?”
1. This brings me to my final point, this morning.
2. If you want to avoid money problems in your marriage, you should…

V. Prepare For Emergencies.

A. Now how do we do that?
1. We do that by establishing an “emergency fund.”
2. By setting aside some money for those inevitable unexpected emergencies, like someone getting sick, or the car breaking down, or the refrigerator giving out, or the hot water heater springing a leak (the list could go on and on).
3. You see, one of the problems with budgeting is the fact that you cannot budget for every possibility.
4. This is why you need an “emergency” fund, or as some would call it, a “rainy day” fund.

B. The Old Testament character, Joseph, is a good example of this.
1. After he had interpreted Pharaoh’s dreams which actually prophesied seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine, he made a very wise suggestion him.
2. He suggested to Pharaoh that he establish an “emergency fund.”
3. He suggested that during the seven years of plenty, food be stored away to prepare for the coming emergency (seven years of famine).
4. Thankfully, Pharaoh implemented Joseph’s suggestion, resulting in multitudes being spared from starvation.

C. Another Bible example is “the ant.”
1. Notice what Solomon said about “the ant” in Prov. 6:7-8, “Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest.”
2. It’s sad to say this, but the little ant is smarter than a lot of married couples today.
3. Why?
4. Because he prepares for the future.
5. This is why every married couple needs an emergency fund.

D. But someone asks, “Where am I going to get the money for such a fund?
1. You budget it, a little bit each week, or each month.
2. (Illus.- Dave Ramsey recommends that you begin by aiming for $ 1,000, but that later, when your finances begin to improve, you try to set aside at least 3-6 months living expenses.)

E. By the way, do you know how a lot of couples get so far in debt to credit card companies?
1. By using their credit cards for emergencies.
2. If they had an emergency fund, they wouldn’t need the cards!

Conclusion:

A. Now back to my original question.
1. How do couples avoid money problems and fights in their marriage? They do so by…
-living within their means,
-combining their assets,
-appointing a bookkeeper,
-adopting a budget,
-preparing for emergencies.
2. Are you having money fights in your marriage?
3. If so, I would almost guarantee that you are failing in at least one of these five areas, perhaps more.
4. Now following these five guidelines may not eliminate every money fight, but it will most eliminate the vast majority of them.

B. How about it?

MP3 Version: “Speak Every Man”

Scripture Text:   Ephesians 4:23-29

By Pastor Mike Withem
First Baptist Church
Ranson, West Virginia

Introduction:

A. (Illus.- Jack and Christine sat across from their pastor, ready to begin their first counseling session. You could tell that Christine had something on her chest because of the way she sat, with her arms folded and her eyes pointed downward. The pastor noticed this right away and decided to begin his questioning with her. He said, “Christine, I can tell by your body language that something is really bothering you, so why don’t you get us started by telling me exactly what the problem is.” Well, when the pastor said that, the floodgate opened. She looked at him and in the most bitter tone she said, “Pastor, I know that this husband of mine has been cheating on me. I know because he has been taking money from his overtime pay. He has been stealing money and I want to know right now what he has been doing with it!” Jack just sat there in total silence. You could tell by the expression on his face that he was completely dumbfounded by what he was hearing. You see, Christine had known about this for almost five months and had said nothing to her husband. Instead, she had been holding it in and as a result she had been growing more and more bitter every day. Well, having heard this, the pastor turned to Jack and said, “Jack, have you been taking money from your overtime pay, and if so, what have you been doing with it?” After a short pause, Jack slowly reached into his pocket, took out his wallet, dug into a secret compartment and said, “It’s all here,” as he pulled out some folded bills and tossed them on the couch, “You can count it, if you like.” The pastor then said, “Okay, Jack, now that we know where the money went,  tell us what you planned to do with the money?” With tears in his eyes, he said, “Our anniversary is coming up soon, and I’ve been saving it for a surprise romantic get-away for Christine and me.” When Christine heard this, you could tell that she wanted to crawl up under something and hide. She was so embarrassed and so ashamed.)
1. Clearly, something was WRONG with the channels of communication in that marriage.
2. Christine had not only worried herself needlessly,  she was ready to break up her marriage over a total misunderstanding.
3. Because she had failed to communicate her concern initially, the problem only got worse and worse until it landed them both in the pastor’s office for counseling.

B. Now before I say anything else, this morning, let me say this, the scenario that I have just described is not the exception, but rather the RULE.
1. In most marriages today, the channels of communication are either NON-EXISTENT, or they are so CLOGGED that very little information, if any, is getting through.
2. And this is not good.
3. You see, it is absolutely impossible to have a good marriage without good communication between a husband and his wife, and this communication must be a TWO-WAY communication.
4. It doesn’t work if only one partner is communicating with the other.
5. Communication is fundamental to a Christ-centered home, because it is the means by which all relationships within the home grow and are maintained.

C. As we examine our text, this morning, I want us to notice at least three things that ought to be true about the communication that takes place in a marriage. Notice, first of all, this communication should be…

I. Honest.

A. Notice again Vrs. 25 of our text, “Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.”
1. Solomon wrote in Prov. 8:7, “For my mouth shall speak truth;”
2. And then again in Prov. 12:17, “He that speaketh truth sheweth forth righteousness:”
3. What do I mean when I say that the communication that takes place in a marriage should be honest?
4. I simply mean that a husband and wife should be both open and honest with one another, that when they communicate, they should communicate the truth and not a lie.

B. For example, they should be honest about their FEELINGS.
1. (Illus.- A missionary and his wife were forced to leave their mission field early because the wife had become severely depressed. When they returned home, she began seeing a psychiatrist on a regular basis, however, it didn’t help and she and her husband continued to grow farther and farther apart. After a few months, someone talked them into seeing a Christian counselor, who insisted that they attend counseling together, as a couple. On their very first visit, the wife opened up and began sharing her feelings. She looked at her husband and said, “My problem is that when I married you, I didn’t love you. In fact, I’ve never loved you, but I’ve never told anyone the truth before now!” Well, that missionary and his wife were able to get the help they needed, and as a result, they not only saved their marriage, but they also returned to the mission field. But that would have never happened had she not been honest about how she felt.)
2. (Illus.- More than once husbands or wives have come to me for advice because their spouses had either said something or done something that had hurt their feelings, sometimes very deeply.  My question to them was always the same, “Have you told your wife or have you told your husband how you feel?” Do you know what their answer was most of the time? Most of the time they said, “No.” When I asked them why not, their answer was almost always the same, they said,“Well, they ought to know how I feel!” Really???)
3. And so, husbands and wives should be honest about their feelings.

C. They should also be honest about their NEEDS.
1. (Illus.- Another complaint that I hear quite often from married people is, “My husband is not meeting my needs,” or “My wife is not meeting my needs,” and I’m sure that a lot of time the complaints are legitimate. However, the question must again be asked, “Have you honestly communicated your needs to your spouse? Do they really know what you need?”)
2. Now when it comes to material needs, it’s usually quite obvious what is needed (not a lot of communication needed here).
3. However, when you are talking about emotional or sexual needs, you need a lot of communication, and it needs to be honest communication.
4. (Illus.- But someone says, “Pastor, it’s hard for me to talk about such intimate things. Well, you have two choices. Either talk about these things, or suffer in silence. It’s up to you!)
5. And so, husbands and wives should be honest about their needs.

D. They should also be honest about their PROBLEMS.
1. Sometimes the problems are ignored altogether.
2. It’s almost as if they think that if they will ignore the problem, it will resolve itself or just go away on it’s own.
3. I assure you, this is almost never the case.
4. The vast majority of marital problems don’t got away on their own, but only get worse with time (so ignoring them is not the answer).
5. Sometimes couples will acknowledge that there is a problem, yet they will downplay or minimize it’s seriousness.
6. This too can be a big mistake.
7. While it is true that some problems are not that serious, other problems, if downplayed or minimized, have the potential of destroying a marriage.
8. And so, husbands and wives should be honest about their problems.

E. What did Paul say? He said, “Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour:” (Eph. 4:25)

F. Not only should the communication that takes place in a marriage be honest, it should also be…

II. Timely.

A. Notice again Vrs. 26 of our text, “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:”
1. What do I mean when I say that the communication that takes place in a marriage should be timely?
2. I simply mean that when there is a problem in a marriage, when there are disagreements, when there are hurt feelings, when there are words of anger, through honest communication the issues should be resolved as soon as possible, preferably before the end of the day.
3. Listen, it is totally unrealistic to think that a husband and wife are never going to get angry with one another, even when they are madly in love.
4. It’s going to happen.
5. However, what Paul is telling us here is that when it does happen, we shouldn’t compound our sin by letting that anger or the issues that brought it about linger on.
6. Jay Adams put it like this, “Before the close of every day, our hearts should be flushed of all of the bitterness and anger that may have accumulated during the day. Nothing unforgiven, nothing unsettled, nothing unresolved should be carried over to the next day. Instead, interpersonal problems should be handled on a daily basis so that they do not build up and abscess.”

B. You know, anger can be handled WRONGLY in one of two ways.
1. Some people handle anger by “BLOWING UP.”
2. In fact, some psychologists actually believe that “blowing up” (venting one’s anger) is a really good thing.
3. They recommend to their counselees that they do whatever it takes to “get it out of their systems,” even if it means “screaming, or yelling, or throwing something at the person who is the object of your anger.”
4. There’s only problem with this kind of advice, it shows concern only for the feelings of one person (the one doing the screaming), certainly not for the feelings of the one being screamed at.
5. The Bible teaches us that we are to do the opposite, that we are to suppress our anger.
6. For example, Prov. 16:32 says, “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.”
7. And then again in Prov. 25:28, “He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.”

C. While some people handle anger by “blowing up,” others handle it by “CLAMMING UP.”
1. In fact, some Christians not only let “the sun go down upon” their “wrath,” they actually let many moons come and go without resolving the issues that are causing their anger.
2. (Illus.- Elliot and Marie sat across from their pastor ready to begin their first counseling session. The pastor noticed that Elliot had brought a briefcase with him, so he decided to begin the session with him. He said, “Elliot, what do you have in your briefcase?” Elliot said, “I’m glad you asked!” He then opened his briefcase, took out an 81/2 X 11 manuscript that was almost an inch thick and tossed it on the pastor’s desk. The pastor asked him, “What’s this?” Elliot replied, this is the reason that we are here today!” As the pastor began flipping through the manuscript, he discovered it to be a 13 year written record of all the things that his wife had ever done to make him angry. They were all listed and categorized. After a few moments, the pastor looked up and focused his eyes on Elliot, who no doubt was expecting him to begin scolding his wife for being such a terrible wife. Instead, the pastor said, “Elliot, in all of my years of counseling, I have never met anyone as full of resentment as you!” He said, “This is not only a record of what your wife has done to you, it is also a record of your sin against her and your sin against God!” Elliot sat in his chair with a shocked look on his face. The pastor went on to explain that by clamming up and harboring all of that resentment in his heart for 13 years, he had actually made the situation far worse.)

D. How then should husbands and wives deal with their anger?
1. By calmly and quickly discussing the issue that brought on the anger until the issue is resolved.
2. What did Paul say?
3. He said, “…let not the sun go down upon your wrath:” (Eph. 4:26)

E. Not only should the communication that takes place in a marriage be both honest and timely, it should also be…

III. Beneficial.

A. Notice again Vrs. 29 of our text, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

B. It’s sad to say, but in many marriages, most of the communication that takes place is anything but beneficial.
1. In these marriages words are used to hurt, to demoralize, to tear down.
2. Here’s what happens.
3. A problem develops in the marriage, words begin to fly, however, rather than the words being directed at the problem, they are instead directed at each other.
4. Rather than attacking the problem, they begin to attack one another!
5. This, of course, this kind of communication does absolutely nothing to solve the problem, but only makes things worse.
6. I think sometimes we forget who the real enemy is.
7. No matter how bad things are, no matter how serious the problems may be, our spouse is NOT the enemy.

C. Marriages need communication that is beneficial, that edifies or builds one another up, that “ministers grace unto the hearers,” that attacks THE PROBLEM, not one another.

D. By the way, some couples use a more subtle form of corrupt communication, it’s called SARCASM.
1. Sarcasm may be a little more subtle than an outright attack, however, it is just as destructive in a marriage.
2. Listen, I honestly believe that a marriage would be better off with NO communication, than with any form of corrupt communication.
3. If you can’t say something positive, if you can’t say something beneficial, if you can’t say something helpful, then just don’t say anything at all. (Don’t make the situation even worse than it already is!)
4. (Illus.- But someone says, “Pastor, the Bible says to speak the truth, and that’s all I’m doing, is speaking the truth!” Well, you may be speaking the truth, but the Bible also says to speak “the truth in love.” [Eph. 4:15] If you can’t speak the truth “in love,” then don’t speak it all!)

Conclusion:

A. What have we learned about the communication that takes place in a marriage?
1. It should be HONEST. (Open, truthful)
2. It should be TIMELY. (Resolve issues quickly.)
3. It should be BENEFICIAL. (Aimed at solving the problem, not tearing down your mate.)

B. How about it couples?
1. Do you have this kind of communication in your marriage?
2. If not, then you clearly have some work to do.
3. Perhaps you need to make you an altar somewhere and earnestly seek the Lord’s help to establish good communication in your marriage.

C. Someone says, “Pastor, it is too late for us!”
1. Listen, it’s never too late!
2. God can help you to overcome whatever problems you are facing in your marriage, but you have to seek Him.

D. Perhaps you are not saved. This is where you need to begin.

MP3 Version: “Whoso Findeth A Wife”

Scripture Text: Proverbs 18:22

By Pastor Mike Withem
First Baptist Church
Ranson, West Virginia

Introduction:

A. As you know, for the past several weeks my Sunday morning messages have been focused on the subject of marriage.
1. This being true, I have been preaching primarily to those of you who are ALREADY MARRIED.
2. Well, this morning I would like to do something a little different, at least for one Sunday, and I would like to preach a message that is aimed at those of you who are of marrying age (or perhaps getting close to be of marrying age) but are STILL SINGLE.
3. As we saw earlier this morning, Solomon wrote in Prov. 18:22, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.”

B. Now I realize that I may very well be speaking to someone this morning who is of marrying age and still single, but for one reason or another, you are NOT LOOKING for a mate.
1. And that’s okay.
2. In fact, the Bible teaches us that there are some definite ADVANTAGES to remaining single.
3. For example, notice what Paul wrote about single men, “He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.” (1 Cor. 7:32-33)
4. Now notice what he wrote about single women, “The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.” (1 Cor. 7:34)
5. Now what is Paul saying here?
6. He is simply saying that a single person will have LESS DISTRACTIONS when it comes to serving the Lord.
7. And so, it’s okay to be single, in fact, it can even be spiritually advantageous.
8. And so if you are single and are happy being single, my advice to you is to NOT go looking for a mate.

C. However, if that is not the case, if you are not happy being single, how does one go about finding a mate?
1. That’s what I want to talk to you about, this morning.
2. How to find, not just a mate, but a proper mate.

D. May I say, first of all, you need to be…

I. Particular.

A. In other words, you need to have some BASIC requirements for your future mate.
1. For example, when Abraham sent his “eldest servant” to find a wife for his son, Isaac, he made him “swear” that he would be PARTICULAR. (Gen. 24:3)
2. You see, not just any woman would do for his son.
3. She had to meet some basic requirements. (Gen. 24:4)
4. If you are looking for a mate, you TOO should…
-be particular,
-not settle for just any man or woman,
-have some basic requirements, some basic qualities that you are looking for in your future mate.

B. Now let me say, right off the bat, that I am NOT talking about PHYSICAL qualities.
1. (Illus.- Several years ago a young single guy came to me and asked me to pray for him because he was looking for what he called “a soul mate.” Well, I asked him, “What kind of a woman are you looking for?” I assumed that since he referred to his future wife as his “soul mate,” that he would begin with spiritual qualities. Boy, was I wrong. Here’s what he said, “Well, first of all, she has to be a blonde. Then she has to be pretty. She also has to have a good figure, and it wouldn’t hurt if she was also athletic,” and these were not all of the physical qualities that he mentioned. As I listened to him, I couldn’t help but think to myself, “This guy is not looking for a soul mate, he’s looking for a bed partner!”)
2. And so, when I say that you should have some basic qualities that you are looking for in your future mate, I am NOT talking about physical qualities.
3. At least, if you have physical qualities on your list, they should be way down at the BOTTOM of your list, certainly not the top!

C. What you should look for FIRST in your future mate are certain SPIRITUAL qualities.
1. In 1 Pet. 3:1-6, Peter admonishes Christian wives to be in subjection to their husbands, however, right in the middle of his admonition, he talks about what makes a woman truly beautiful.
2. Notice what he wrote in Vrs. 3-4, “Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart,”
3. Listen, if you are truly looking for a soul mate, and not just a bed partner, you want to look at “the hidden man (woman) of the heart.” (In other words, a person’s inward, spiritual qualities.)

D. For example, you want to make sure that they are SAVED.
1. In fact, the Bible states very clearly that a believer should never marry an unbeliever.
2. Notice what Paul wrote in 2 Cor. 6:14, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers:”
3. Let’s go back to Abraham, for a moment.
4. Notice what he told his servant just before he sent him on his search for a wife for his son, Isaac; he said, “…thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell: But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.” (Gen. 24:3-4)
5. In other words, find a woman who shares his spiritual heritage and his spiritual values.
6. You might also remember that before the children of Israel entered the promised land, God gave them a very stern warning, he said, concerning the Canaanites who lived in the land, “Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.” (Deut. 7:3)

E. But someone asks, “What’s wrong with me marrying an unbeliever? Why is that NOT a good thing?”
1. Two reasons.
2. First of all, it is not a good thing because on a spiritual level, you have absolutely NOTHING in common with an unbeliever.
3. What did Paul say?
4. He said, “…for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14)
5. Listen, “righteousness” has absolutely NOTHING in common with “unrighteousness,” and “light” has absolutely NOTHING in common with “darkness!”
6. Even so, on a spiritual level, you have absolutely nothing in common with an unbeliever (you are living in two totally different worlds).
7. Can’t you see the problem with that???

F. There is another reason why marrying an unbeliever is not a good thing, and that is because more times than not, the unbeliever will pull the believer away from God.
1. This is why God warned the Israelites about intermarrying with the Canaanites.
2. Notice what He told them, “For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods:” (Deut. 7:4)
3. Isn’t this what happened to Solomon when he married all of those heathen women?
4. The Bible says in 1 Kings 11:4, “For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods:”
5. Listen, if it happened to Solomon, it will most likely happen to you as well!
6. And so, as you search for a mate, first and foremost, make sure that they are saved.

G. Also make sure that they are SERVING.
1. In other words, make sure that they are actively serving the Lord. For example…
2. Make sure that they are faithful in church.
3. Make sure that they are involved in ministry.
4. Make sure that they are givers (tithers).
5. Why is this important?
6. It’s important because it lets you know where their priorities lie.
7. They may be saved, yet if serving the Lord is not a priority in their lives, they would not make a suitable mate.
8. And so, as you search for a mate, make sure that they are saved and make sure that they are serving.

H. Also, make sure that they are SANCTIFIED.
1. In other words, make sure that they have a close walk with the Lord.
2. The truth is, they can be saved and even involved in Christian service, and not have a close walk with the Lord.
I. How do you go about finding a soul mate?
1. First of all, be particular.
2. May I say, secondly, that you should be…

II. Prayerful.

A. Notice something that Paul wrote to the Colossian believers in Col. 1:9, “For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding;”
1. According to this verse, PRAYER is one of the means by which we can determine God’s will for our life.
2. And I can’t think of anything more important to pray about than finding a soul mate!

B. Now let’s go back to Abraham one more time, this morning.
1. When Abraham’s servant, Eliezer, arrived at “Nahor,” the city where he hoped to find a wife for Isaac, he stopped at a well just outside the city.
2. The reason he stopped there was because he knew that this was where the young ladies would be coming to draw water.
3. Do you know what was the FIRST thing he did, after bedding down his camels, when he arrived at the well?
4. He got on his knees and he began PRAYING to God.
5. Notice Gen. 24:12, “And he said, O LORD God of my master Abraham, I pray thee, send me good speed this day, and shew kindness unto my master Abraham.”
6. In other words, “Lord, you know how important my mission is. You know how important it is that I find the right woman for my master’s son. Lord, please show kindness to my Master by showing me the woman whom you have chosen to be Isaac’s wife!”
7. If you know the rest of the story, you know that God answered Eliezer’s prayer and showed him that Rebecca was His choice for Isaac.

C. How does one go about finding one’s soul mate?
1. First of all, be particular.
2. Secondly, be prayerful.
3. Let me give you one more word of advice before I conclude, this morning, and that is, be…

III. Patient.

A. One of the most common mistakes that Christians make in selecting a soul mate is they get in a hurry.
1. Some things cannot be hurried.
2. Some things require patience.
3. Some things take time.
4. And selecting a mate for life is one of those things.

B. Over and over again God admonishes us in His Word to “wait” on Him.
1. For example, the Bible says in Psa. 27:14, “Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.”
2. TWICE in this one verse we are admonished to “wait on the Lord.”
3. Do you know what happens when we don’t wait?
4. Do you know what happens when we get ahead of the Lord?
5. Do you know what happens when we get in a hurry and don’t take the time to be particular and to pray.
6. We make mistakes!

C. One of the best examples of waiting patiently on the Lord is JACOB.
1. Remember how Jacob fell in love with Rachel, and when he went to her father and asked for her hand in marriage, he said, “Well, sure you can marry my daughter, but only AFTER you serve me for seven years.”
2. (Illus.- Can you imagine finding THE woman that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, and being told by her father that not only would you have to wait for seven years, but also that during that seven years you had to serve him. I seriously doubt that very many young men today would agree to those terms.)
3. Jacob, however did agree to those terms.
4. But that’s not the end of the story.
5. After the seven years was up, and the wedding was over, Jacob discovered that his father-in-law had deceived him and given him Rachel’s sister, Leah, instead.
6. When Jacob protested, Laban said, “No problem, you can still have Rachel, only you will have to work for me ANOTHER SEVEN YEARS!
7. Now I’m sure that Jacob was not happy about it, however, he was so convinced that Rachel was the woman for him, he was willing to serve Laban for another seven years.
8. Talk about patience.

D. Now, am I saying that it will take you 14 years to find your soul mate?
1. I’m not saying that at all.
2. I’m just saying that good things come to those who…
-wait,
-are patient,
-take whatever time is necessary to be particular and to pray for God’s direction.
3. The Bible says in Lam. 3:25, “The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.”

Conclusion:

A. Now let’s go back to our original text, Prov. 18:22, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.”
1. You know, this is ONLY true if you find the RIGHT wife or the RIGHT husband.
2. This is why you must be…
-PARTICULAR,
-PRAYERFUL,
-PATIENT.

“Keepers At Home”

MP3 Version: “Keepers At Home“

Scripture Text: Titus 2:5

By Pastor Mike Withem
First Baptist Church
Ranson, West Virginia

Introduction:

A. Now before I say anything else this morning, I want to make something very clear.
1. It is NOT my intent to bash, or to slam, or to criticize, or to scold any wife who happens to work outside of the home (in other words, who is not a full-time homemaker).
2. I realize that today’s world is very different from the world in which June Cleaver lived.
3. I also realize that these are very difficult times in which we now live, and many wives are absolutely convinced that they have no choice but to work outside of the home.
4. And so, believe me when I say that I understand both of these things, and I am truly sympathetic with wives who feel themselves being torn between being a homemaker and helping to pay the bills.
5. However, at the same time, I have an OBLIGATION to tell you what the Bible says, without watering it down or trying to explain it away.
6. This is why I would ask you to remember, this morning, that I am just the MESSENGER, and if you are bothered (convicted) by what GOD says in His Word, please don’t take it out on me, but rather take it up WITH HIM.

B. Now, let’s look at our text.
1. Paul is giving instructions to various groups of believers.
2. First of all, he instructs the “aged men” to “…sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.” (Vrs. 2)
3. He then instructs the “aged women” to be “…in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;” (Vrs. 3)
4. Now after instructing the “aged men” as well as the “aged women,” Paul then gives some instructions to the “young women” within the church.
5. It’s important to note here that these instructions are intended specifically for young WIVES and young MOTHERS (mothers with young children).
6. We know that because in Vrs. 4 Paul admonishes them to “love their husbands” and “to love their children.”

C. Now what instructions does Paul give here to both “young wives” and “young mothers”?
1. In addition to instructing them to “love their husbands” and “love their children,” he also instructs them “To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” (Tit. 2:5)
2. Now because we are limited in time, this morning, I want us to focus our attention on just one phrase in this verse, the phrase, “…keepers at home.”
3. First of all, I want us to consider the…

I. Meaning Of This Phrase.

A. The phrase is actually translated from one Greek word (oikouros), which happens to be a compound word.
1. Part of the word (oik) means “household,” which includes not only the house itself, but also those who live within the house (the family).
2. The other part of the word (ouros) means “guardian” or “overseer.”
3. And so, the phrase “keepers at home” means “overseer of the household.”
4. Of course, it doesn’t mean someone who is TOTALLY confined to the house or someone who NEVER leaves home.
5. (Illus.- I’ve known a few husbands, over the years, who preferred that their wives never leave the house, and they would get upset every time they did. I asked one of them once, “Why are you so mean to your wife?” He said, “What do you mean, preacher?” I said, “You keep her locked up like she’s a prisoner.” He then told me this, he said, “Preacher, the Bible says that the wife should stay at home.”)
6. Well, first of all, the Bible does NOT say that the wife should stay at home, but rather that she should be “a keeper at home.”
7. And secondly, what that simply means is that she has the responsibility of overseeing the affairs of her household.

B. A few weeks ago I brought a message on the PRIMARY role of the wife in marriage.
1. As we saw from Gen. 2:18, a wife’s primary role is to be a “help meet” for her husband (her husband’s helper).
2. Well, that is her primary role, but a wife also has a SECONDARY role, and that is to be the overseer of her household.
3. This, of course, includes the care and raising of the children, that is if there are children.
4. Now let me stop here and say that the role of overseer of the household is an extremely IMPORTANT role.
5. Not only is it an important role, it is also a very DEMANDING and TIME CONSUMING role.
6. (Illus.- I remember visiting with a couple several years ago after they had visited with our church. I began our conversation by asking the husband what he did for a living. I don’t remember what he said, but he told me where he worked. I then turned to his wife and asked, “Do you work outside the home?” I’ll never forget what she said, she said, “No, I’m JUST a homemaker!” I said, “Mam, I understand what you mean, but, mam, there is NO such thing as JUST a homemaker!”)
7. Being a homemaker is one of the most important and most demanding jobs that a woman can have.
8. By the way, it is also one of the most REWARDING jobs that a woman can have.

C. But someone asks, “What about my husband? If my role is to oversee the household, what is his role?”
1. When it comes to the family, his primary role is to earn a living for his family.
2. Do you remember what God told Adam?
3. He said, “In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground;” (Gen. 3:19)
4. In other words, “Adam, from now on, you are going to have to WORK HARD to provide bread for yourself and your family.”
5. And so, the husband’s primary role is not to oversee or manage the household, but rather to PROVIDE for the needs of his household.
6. Now this does not mean that he cannot help out from time to time (in fact, he should).
7. Listen fellows, when you come home after a hard day’s work, you are NOT THE ONLY ONE who is tired!
8. If your wife has been managing your household all day long, I’ll guarantee that she is just as tired as you, if not more tired.

D. And so, to be “a keeper at home” simply means to be an overseer or a manager of the household.

E. Now I want us to consider the

II. Motives For Working Outside The Home.

A. In other words, with all of the responsibilities involved with being the God- appointed overseer of her household, why in the world would a wife even think about taking on an additional job working outside the home?

B. There are at least three different reasons that come to mind.
1. Some women do it OUT OF NECESSITY (or because of a perceived necessity).
2. Let’s face it, sometimes catastrophic events take place in our lives that place a HUGE financial burden upon the family.
3. Dad loses his job.
4. Dad is in a car wreck and is permanently disabled.
5. Little Johnny becomes seriously ill and the medical bills begin piling up.
6. These catastrophic events, as well as others that I did not mention, can place a huge financial burden on the family.
7. Of course, that’s when we look to our extended family and our church family for help, but even that may not be enough to get us through.
8. I just know that there are a lot of wives and mothers who are working outside of the home, not because they want to, but because they feel like they have no other option.

C. For others, however, it IS a choice.
1. For example, some wives work outside the home because they desire a higher standard of living than their husbands alone can provide for them.
2. They want to live in a luxurious house, they want to drive new cars, they want to wear designer clothing.
3. They want to do their shopping at the mall rather than Wal Mart.
4. Now a lot of these wives will tell you that they work because they HAVE to work, however, if the truth were known, they COULD make it on their husband’s income alone.
5. No, they wouldn’t be able to enjoy the same standard of living that they are enjoying now, but their basic needs would be met.
6. And so, some wives work outside the home because they (and perhaps their husbands) desire a higher standard of living than one income can afford.

D. There is at least one more reason that some wives choose to work outside the home, and that is because of DISSATISFACTION.
1. While they may not admit it if you were to ask them, the truth is they are no longer satisfied with being a wife and a mother.
2. In other words, they no longer find it fulfilling.
3. Now please don’t misunderstand what I am saying.
4. I am not saying that wives and mothers should ONLY be wives and mothers and nothing else, however, if you cannot be happy, if you cannot find fulfillment in being a wife and a mother, you are NOT going to find it any where else.
5. And do you know why?
6. Because that is your God-given purpose in life!

E. Now this raises a question. Is it a…

III. Mistake For A Wife And Mother To Work Outside The Home?

A. Now I am not going to answer that question for you, because I want you to answer it FOR YOURSELF.
1. But before you do, I want you to answer some questions for me.
2. First of all, is it absolutely necessary?
3. As you know, Jesus was criticized by the Pharisees because He healed people on the Sabbath.
4. Do you remember how Jesus responded to this criticism?
5. He responded by asking them a question, “Which of you shall have an ass or an ox fallen into a pit, and will not straightway pull him out on the sabbath day?” (Luke 14:5)
6. In other words, when faced with an emergency, you do what you have to do.
7. But is it absolutely necessary that you work outside the home, or could you perhaps make it on one income by simply lowering your standard of living a bit?
8. Just something to consider.

B. Now if it is clearly not a necessity, answer another question for me.
1. Is the reason that you want to work outside the home the fact that you no longer find joy and fulfillment in being a wife and a mother?
2. If that is your motive, then you have a very serious spiritual problem that needs to be addressed before you make any life altering decisions.
3. Remember what I said earlier, if you cannot find fulfillment in being a wife and a mother, then you won’t find it doing anything else.

C. Now if that is clearly not your motive, answer one more question for me.
1. Will working outside the home result in your household or your children being neglected?
2. (Illus.- In the past, when I have preached on this subject, there is usually at least one wife who will come to me and say, “Pastor, what about the “virtuous woman” that Solomon describes in Prov. 31? It says things like “She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar,” and “She considereth a field, and buyeth it,” and “…with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.” There’s NO WAY that a woman could do all of these things and never leave home!)
3. That’s true, a wife and a mother could not possibly do all of those things and never leave home.
4. However, Solomon also said about this woman that “she looketh well to the ways of her household.” (Vrs. 27)
5. In other words, in all of her goings and comings, she makes absolutely sure that her household and her children are not neglected.

Conclusion:

A. Is it a mistake for a wife and a mother to work outside the home?
1. I will let you answer that question for yourself.
2. Just remember that when you stand before Christ one day, you will have to explain to Him why you answered that question the way you did.
3. Also remember that there is a lot at stake here, and you only get one life to one, one opportunity to be the wife and mother that God would have you to be.
4. Please don’t blow it!

B. Perhaps I am speaking to someone who is not saved.

MP3 Version: “If Any Obey Not The Word”

Scripture Text: 1 Peter 3:1-6

By Pastor Mike Withem
First Baptist Church
Ranson, West Virginia

Introduction:

A. (Illus.- Several years ago a lady joined our church who’s husband was not a church-goer. In fact, not only did he not attend church, but he was not even saved [believer in Christ]. A few months after she joined, this same lady came to me for advice concerning how to live with a husband who was not a Christian. Without going into any detail, I immediately took her to 1 Peter 3, and we had a little Bible study on the verses that Bro. Mike read just a moment ago.)
1. Why these verses?
2. Because they address this very situation, where a woman who is saved, finds herself married to a man who is not.

B. “HOW does this happen?” someone asks.
1. It happens in one of TWO ways.
2. Sometimes a woman who is saved marries a man who is NOT saved.
3. While this is very common today, it is most certainly contrary to biblical teaching (principle).
4. For example, the Bible plainly says in 2 Cor. 6:14, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”
5. And so, sometimes a woman who is saved marries a man who is not saved, even though she shouldn’t.
6. Another way it can happen is that sometimes a woman comes to Christ AFTER she is married, but her unsaved husband does not. (This was the case with the dear sister that I mentioned a moment ago.)
C. But, again, the question is this, “What is a woman to do, a woman who is saved, if, for some reason, she finds herself married to an unsaved man?”
1. How is she to handle that situation?
2. May I say, first and foremost, that she should…

I. Stay With Him.

A. Leaving him is NOT an option.
1. Bailing out of the marriage is NOT an option.
2. Divorcing him is clearly NOT an option, unless infidelity is an issue.
3. Paul dealt with this very situation in 1 Cor. 7; notice what he wrote in Vrs. 13, “And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.”
4. Notice again the words, “…let her not leave him.”
5. And so, leaving him is not an option.
6. Now Paul did go on to write in Vrs. 15, “But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases:”
7. In other words, if he decides that he no longer wants to be married to a Christian woman and leaves her, she should let him go.
8. However, if that is not the case, if he is happy being married to her, even though she is a Christian, she should NOT leave him.

B. The Bible is very clear when it comes to the subject of divorce.
1. There is only ONE justification for divorcing your spouse, and that is infidelity.
2. Do you remember what Jesus said in Matt. 19:9, “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery:”
3. Notice again the words, “…except it be for fornication,”
4. Now this does not mean that divorce should be automatic in these cases.
5. Where there is true repentance on the part of the offender, as well as a willingness to forgive on the part of the offended, even these marriages can be saved.
6. However, if this is not the case, then as sad as it is, divorce is a justifiable option.

C. And so, “What is a woman to do, a woman who is saved, if, for some reason, she finds herself married to an unsaved man?”
1. First and foremost, she should stay with him.
2. May I say, also, that she should…

II. Be A Model Wife.

A. Notice again Peter’s words in Vrs. 1 of our text, “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word,”
1. And then in Vrs. 6, “Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord:”
2. Now what is Peter telling wives here?
2. He’s simply telling them that even if their husband is not saved, even if he is not a believer in Christ, even if he does not share their faith in Christ, they should STILL be submissive and obedient wives.

B. Now there is a very important principle here that both wives and husbands need to understand.
1. Our responsibility to be good wives or good husbands in no way is lessened if our spouses do not reciprocate.
2. In other words, if you husband is a lousy husband, you should still be a good wife, and if you wife is a lousy wife, you should still be a good husband.
3. (Illus.- I remember counseling with a lady once who was extremely upset with her husband, and to be honest, she had some very legitimate complaints. I knew her husband well and I knew that in may ways he was not a good husband. After she had finished telling me about all of her husband’s shortcomings, she asked me, “Pastor, what should I do?” I will never forget the surprised look on her face when I said to her, “Be a model wife.” She said, “Wait a minute, we are not talking about me here, we are talking about my husband.” I said, “I know, but you asked me what YOU should do, and what YOU should do is to be the very best wife that you can possibly be.”)
4. The same thing is true if the situation is reversed.
5. If a husband comes to me complaining about his wife, I would give him the very SAME advice.
6. I would say to him, “Be a model husband. Love your wife. Honor your wife. Be the very best husband that you can possibly be.”

C. This same principle can be applied to all human relationships.
1. Take, for example, the employer-employee relationship.
2. Notice 1 Pet. 2:18, “Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward.”
3. Notice again the words, “…but also to the froward.”
4. Do you know what that word “froward” means?
5. It means “warped, crooked, perverse.”
6. And so, what Peter is telling us here is this: even if our boss is the WORST boss in the world, as long as we are in his employment, we have an obligation before God to be the BEST employees that we can possibly be.

D. Is your husband unsaved?
1. Is your husband saved, but not a good Christian?
2. Is your husband, generally speaking, a terrible husband?
3. None of these things lessens your responsibility to be a good wife, and so, my advice to you is to be a model wife.

E. Now I know what you are asking yourself right about now. You are asking…

III. Why?

A. “Why should I stay with my husband, why should I be a model wife, if my husband is not saved, or if he is not a good husband? Why, pastor?”
1. Of course, the bottom line is, you should do it because God in His Word commands you to do it, and those commands are clearly UNCONDITIONAL.
2. But there is another reason.
3. You should do it because this is your BEST HOPE of seeing your husband change (for the better).

B. Notice again Vrs. 1 of our text, “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;”
1. Did you notice the phrase “…without the word”?
2. I’m afraid that a lot of wives think they can change their husbands by preaching to them, or as some might put it, nagging them.
3. Ladies, let me tell you something about me (and I know something about men because I am a man), men don’t like to be preached to by women, especially their wives, and even if they know in their heart that you are right and they are wrong, you’re never going to get them to admit it by preaching to them. (Take my word for it!)
4. In fact, all you will accomplish by preaching to them is that you will cause them to “DIG IN THEIR HEELS” a little deeper. (You will only make matters worse.)

C. But someone asks, “If preaching isn’t going to work, then how am I going to convince my husband that he needs to change?”
1. The answer is, “YOU are not!”
2. You can preach to him until you are blue in the face, and YOU are not going to convince him to change.
3. You see, this is something that ONLY GOD can do!
4. But God does need your help!
5. “HOW does God need your help?”
6. He needs you to live an exemplary life before your husband.
7. He needs you to stand by him (be his helper).
8. He needs you to submit to him (place yourself under his authority).
9. He needs you to be everything that a Christian wife ought to be to her husband.
10. Notice again Vrs. 1 of our text, “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;”
11. The word “conversation” here means “behavior” or “lifestyle.”
12. What Peter is saying here is that wives should seek to win over their husbands, not by preaching to them, but by being the kind of wife that God intends for them to be.

D. But someone asks, “HOW is that going to win over my husband? How is that going to result in his being changed (for the better)?”
1. The answer is found in Rom. 12:20-21, “Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”
2. Notice again the words, “…but overcome evil with good.”
3. I’m afraid that a lot of wives think that the way to overcome the bad behavior of their husbands is by behaving badly themselves.
4. You know, this “I’LL SHOW HIM” mentality!
5. The problem, however, is that if you respond to your husband’s bad behavior with bad behavior of your own, that only encourages MORE bad behavior on his part, making things even worse than they were.
6. God’s way is to “overcome evil with good.”
7. God’s way is to “heap coals of fire on his head” (not literally, of course).
8. God’s way is to “feed him” if he is hungry, to “give him…drink” if he is thirsty, thus “KILLING HIM WITH KINDNESS.”

E. By the way, God practiced this very principle Himself in bringing us to Him!
1. Notice the question that Paul asked in Rom. 2:4, “Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?”
2. Listen, if God used His “goodness” and kindness to win us over to Himself, don’t you wives think that you would be wise to use this same method in trying to win over your husbands?
3. But someone asks, “Pastor, can you GUARANTEE that this will work with my husband?”
4. No, I can’t guarantee that it will work with your husband, but I’ll tell you what I can guarantee, I can guarantee that if you try any other method, it will NOT work!
5. But then, because of your past experience, you may already know that.

Conclusion:

A. Perhaps I am speaking to a wife this morning who’s husband is not the kind of husband that he ought to be.
1. Perhaps he is not saved.
2. Perhaps he is saved, but he is not right with God.
3. But for one reason or another, he’s not a good husband.
4. What should a wife do in this situation?
5. First and foremost, you should STAY WITH HIM.
6. And then you should BE A MODEL WIFE.
7. WHY?
8. Because the way to overcome evil is with good.

B. By the way, the same thing is true when the situation is reversed.
1. Perhaps I am speaking to a husband this morning who’s wife is not the kind of wife that she ought to be.
2. What is a husband to do in this situation?
3. First of all, you should stay with her.
4. And then you should strive to be a model husband.
5. You should love her, honor her, and pray for her, no matter what.
6. Why?
7. Because the way to overcome evil is with good.

C. Perhaps I am speaking to someone this morning who is not saved.